Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ushering in the crap
By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.24.2002
College radio never looked so bland. Usher walks with Eric and shows him, well, hardly anything. They walk and talk as Usher explains that Eric will be taking calls. Eric looks unhappy with the idea of "taking requests." Wow, he's even a selfish DJ. Usher says it's not requests; it's talk radio. "Didn't Lucy tell [Eric]?" You know, people calling in, talking about their problems. Never mind the fact that there are millions of kinds of call-in shows -- sports, entertainment, sex. Eric has to get the incredibly vague catch-all of "problems." Eric looks positively sneery at the idea, and says it's "too close to [his] old job." What a dick! And I love how Lucy gets all the credit for this job in absentia. Do we ever see these kids in class or DOING anything besides flapping their gums and being unsatisfied? Usher is all, "Um, look, I'm in a jam. Please. The holidays are coming up. Lots of kids want to just talk about what to do over their break. It won't be anything as serious or heavy as what you were dealing with." He also says that if Eric doesn't like it, he can plan a show that's "less talk, more music." Ah, yet another incredibly vague and generic term: Music. What the hell would Eric play? Boz Scaggs? Raffi? Wank on his guitar? Eric very reluctantly agrees, and Usher says he'll "set" Eric "up." Eric is all, "Interesting choice of words." Okay, dick, you're fired.
Ben is unpacking. Happy sits motionless on the bed, and Simon, head in his hands (perhaps weighted down by his enormous eyebrows), listens to Ben's Sad Sad Story: his woman in Buffalo (or was it a lady buffalo?) cut him loose, and even him mom has hotter and sexier Thanksgiving plans than he. Ben says his "love life is pathetic!" Simon says, "Yeah." Ben does a double take at that. Well, isn't it? Simon suggests that Ben accompany him and Cecilia to Club Minor, a club for men like Simon between the ages of fourteen and twenty, i.e. an underage dance club with no booze, just like the name implies. Otherwise known as Pedophile Heaven, or Snoozeville. Ben makes a rank face as if Happy just cut one, and says since he's twenty-three, he'll "pass." Simon browbeats him. And that's quite a heavy beating, if you get my meaning. His eyebrows make the Gallagher brothers' brows look slim. Simon says that "plenty of older girls hang out there desperate to meet guys." Ben is intrigued with the idea of "desperate," but still declines. Oh, and where would a "good-looking guy" like Ben meet a woman? Yeah, ask Simon. He'd know. Not. Simon suggests the Promenade. What about the pool hall? At least there you can get foofy drinks. Simon also wishes Ben luck. Ben says that luck is not a factor. Simon says, "Luck is a huge factor." I'd also say alcohol would be a huge factor. Did I already mention the foofy drinks at Eddie's? Get there and start buying.
Down at the very bustling cop station, Roxanne and Kevin have a very odd, creepy fight about their evening plans. Lucy won't be hanging out, but Kevin is more than willing to play pool and suck face some more, probably. Roxanne gets all bent out of shape. Why is Lucy always "sick" when she asks to do something? Why doesn't Lucy like her? Well, didn't you try to kiss Kevin, and then actually get a kiss when Kevin was trying to piss Lucy off? Ahem. Roxanne pours herself a cup of coffee, takes a very circular walk through the office, makes a funny turn, and heads to her boss's desk. Remember "that thing" she talked about before? Well, she wants "to do it" now. Is this a metaphor? Oh, she means getting a new partner. Cool.