Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT She's alive! ALIIIIIVE!
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.17.2005
Back with Syd. She calls Jack and says that she has an idea, but he's going to hate it. He's one step ahead, saying that she wants him to go talk to her Aunt Katya. Syd's all, you are a mind reader! How'd you do that? Jack's all, I eat my Wheaties. But never you mind that. I'm off to talk to Auntie Hotya. I mean Slutya. I mean Hotya. NO. Katya. Aunt Katya. I'm -- yeah. Going there. The bars slide open and suddenly, we're in Hotya's cell. Jack glares at her. "Is that look supposed to be intimidating?" she purrs. "You forget, Jack -- I've seen your tender side." HEE. God, I love her. Jack's not into her right now, though, because he just orders her to give up the goods on Elena's operations. Hotya's all, what makes you think I know anything about that no-good skank? Jack's all, call it instinct. And Wheaties. Hotya's all, what? So you gonna torture me now? Jack's all, weeeeeelllll. If I must. Hotya's all, hey, while I know we'd both really dig that, I should warn you, I have tons of stamina. "But you already know that about me," she smirks. Heh. I bet he does.
He asks her what she wants, and she says she wants a full pardon and an immediate release. He says he doesn't have the authority; she has faith that he'll find a way. He gives her his word that if the information she provides leads them to Elena, he'll do everything he can to get her what she wants. Hotya asks what Elena's done. Jack tells her. Hotya then says that Elena's been acquiring artifacts for years through her front: The Covenant. Jack's all, the whuh? In the whuh whuh? He's all, bu-bu-bu-BUT we took down the Covenant. Katya's all, no ya didn't. Elena's always been about Rambaldi, dude. And you thought SLOANE was obsessed. "How do we stop her?" asks Jack. "You're asking the wrong sister," spits Katya. "Irina spent the last few years of her life tracking Elena. She was determined to stop our sister from enacting her endgame. And she would have done it too. But you had to go and put a bullet in her head." Jack says he was set up -- that Elena put a hit out on Sydney and framed Irina for it. Katya just says that Jack's full of shit and that if he pulled the trigger, part of him wanted to be manipulated into pulling it. She can lead him to Elena, but the only person who could have helped him stop her is dead, thanks in no small part to, you know, HIM.
Jack gets on the phone to Sydney and tells her that Elena is in Prague at a decommissioned chemical facility south of the industrial zone. He also tells Syd about Elena's ties to the Covenant. "You think we can trust her?" asks Syd. "She's a Derevko," quips Jack, rolling his eyes. Heh. Jack orders Syd to get to Prague and hook up with Dix and Nadia. She's on her way. We jet over to Prague and to Elena's base of operations. She's sitting in a big black chair with her legs spread to either side as if she's a cowboy who's spent far too many years on the back of a pinto. There's a knock at the door. Elena cocks her gun and says something in Russian. Some guards bring in Sloane. "My men think you're here to kill me," she says. "You should hire smarter men," snots Sloane. Heh. Elena rightly guesses that Sloane's there to offer her a deal. "I know what you're trying to do," he says. "I can help." Elena makes this hilarious "Oh, really?" face and says, "Thank God." Hee. Sloane just says that there's no one else on earth who knows more about Milo Rambaldi. Elena comments that she'd heard he'd reformed. "I suppose I've been born again," he says. See? I TOLD you at the end of the last recap that Sloane was going back over to the Dark Side, y'all. Maybe I'M the one eating the Wheaties!