Episode Report Card Erin: A | 48 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Save the cheerleader. Save the -- wait, how does it go?
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2006.10.23
Matt gets up, cringing and groaning, and Mrs. Matt chucks the phone at his head. She asks him where the hell he's been, and he surmises that he must have drank too much and passed out on the couch. She tells him he's been gone for a day, and he says that's impossible. Well, it's certainly impossible if he's been gone for a day and then just SHOWN UP ON THE SOFA. She says she's called the precinct a dozen times and they said he was working with the F.B.I. She kind of snorts at this news, as if she just knows it's not true. Matt pats his forehead with a cold cloth and says that the F.B.I. thing just started and he was going to tell her about it but-- "But WHAT?" she snots at him. Um, but you WANTED HIM TO LEAVE and SO HE DID? Oh, and he was also going to tell you all about the guy who eats peoples brains and how somehow he can read minds now, but nooooo. You just wanted to make him feel guilty for not digging your new job, didn't you? I think it's time for you to pay a little visit to the Apology Arena and do some first-class public groveling, don't you, Mrs. Matt?
She asks where he was and he says he doesn't know and she starts bitching at him about how she was picturing him in a ditch somewhere and that every time the phone rang, she kept thinking they were calling to tell her he was dead. "I didn't know you cared that much," says Matt, surprised. "I'm your wife," her inner thoughts say. "I always care." Matt hears this and tries to tell her that he's glad she cares, but, really, they haven't spoken much lately, so he had no idea. He thinks that her worrying about him is a good thing, and we thankfully leave this story to catch up with Hiro and Ando as they're getting tossed out of a van in the middle of the desert.
The van peels off and the Bouken Boys slap the dust off their Rain Man suits. Even though he's just been thrown to the ground, Hiro's still remarkably upbeat and cheerful. Although, really, I get the feeling that Hiro would remain upbeat and cheerful if he were locked in a tray at the morgue and the rest of the hospital was on fire. "Yatta! OW! Fire burn!" Ando's more than slightly peeved at the moment, and he shakes his fist after the van and calls its passengers bastards. The Bouken Boys pick up their suitcases and look around, seeing a big old fashioned diner car in the distance. "Good," says Hiro. "I'm starving." Damn. Those were nice kidnappers that dropped them off in a desert conveniently located RIGHT NEXT TO A DINER. Hiro starts walking toward the diner and Ando tells him to shut up because he's not talking to him. Heh. I think that's equivalent to going, "La la la la la I can't hear you" when someone else is saying something you don't want to hear. In other words, it's really immature. And neener neener.