Episode Report Card Sara M: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Off To A Bad Start
By Sara M | Season 19 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.17.2009
Li'l Russell runs off to the others as fast as his little legs will carry his considerable heft and tells Jaison and Ashley about how Marisa just "completely threatened him" by saying he made her feel uncomfortable. Ashley has a look on her face like "yeah, I kind of see where she's coming from there ... " Neither she nor Jaison say anything. Li'l Russell runs over to Betsy and tells her that Marisa is going home first. "Noooo, you think so?" she says. "Vote Marisa," Li'l Russell tells Jeffrey Tambor. "Really? All right," Jeffrey Tambor says. He's the first contestant we've seen actually agree to it, by the way. Li'l Russell tells us that he's certain that his tribe believes everything he says even though he already saw that Marisa didn't believe him and he thinks she's an idiot, so obviously the smarter members of the tribe wouldn't believe him either. According to Li'l Russell, though, they're stupid for believing him and stupid for not believing him, so they can't win. Of course, Ben is happy to vote for Marisa as he thinks she's a bitch, apparently based on their earlier altercation. Li'l Russell says he's the puppet master and the tribe are his puppets. And it's the lamest puppet show ever.>{?
Betsy will save us! She tells the long-haired blonde that he doesn't trust Li'l Russell. "Why is that?" the girl asks. IDIOT. Betsy won't give her a reason except for "a woman's intuition." Well, that should go absolutely nowhere. Thanks for giving me hope and then beating it right back down again, Betsy.
Foa Foa arrives at Tribal Council. Probst gives them the "fire represents life" speech and starts off with Ashley, asking her how it feels to hear that one of them is definitely going home tonight. Ashley says it's sad, but that's how the game works. "You know, it's whatever. It is what it is." Probst asks Li'l Russell why they don't vote Ashley out tonight since she doesn't take this game seriously like Probst demands. "I don't know how to answer that question," Li'l Russell says. Seriously, though. How about Probst doesn't ask potentially game-altering questions at all? Jeffrey Tambor speaks up and says that after tonight, they'll realize that this is a "dog eat dog" game and they're all wearing "Milk Bone underwear." Probably because Russell put their cotton underwear in the fire last night. Probst now orders Ashley to state her regret for her flippant attitude towards this game. Ashley will not! "It's a game," she shrugs; "you have to vote people out." Everyone did his best and unfortunately this time it just wasn't enough. Jeffrey Tambor says that Galu just got lucky and that's why they won. "Lucky?!" Probst says, outraged that someone would suggest that an element of this game is pure chance and not all strategy and alpha male cleverness. He says that if Galu hadn't solved the puzzle they'd still be there because Foa Foa wasn't even close. He turns to designated smart Asian Liz and asks if she agrees that it was luck. To appease Probst, she says that it was not and Foa Foa could have been more unified in the challenge.