Episode Report Card Sara M: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Off To A Bad Start
By Sara M | Season 19 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.17.2009
Erik gets the key from John as Li'l Russell gets the first bundle down. Erik tries to pick up his first bundle, and finds that it is really heavy. "Adrenaline coursing through that body!" Probst cries, licking his lips. Erik gets the first bundle in place and heads back as Li'l Russell has trouble with the second one. Someone on Galu cries out that he is "dying" and "out of shape." In the end, neither Erik nor Li'l Russell is able to carry the heavier bundle the entire way to the beam and end up having to roll it instead. Li'l Russell gets it to the beam first, preserving Foa Foa's lead. Erik dramatically places the bundle on the mat and collapses in the sand, which makes his leader very proud. "He had the heart of a tiger," he says. But the muscles of a gym rat, which means kind of useless in real world situations like this. Oh well.
On the balance beam, Yasmin appears to be moving quickly and making up a lot of ground for Galu, while Marisa's boobs are falling out of her top. She still manages to get the key to Liz first, though. Shambrella gets the key soon after, but Liz already has a good lead on her and it's a pretty easy puzzle. Probst tries to claim that Shampagne is making up all of Galu's lost ground, but she's still pretty far behind when Liz puts the final piece on the statue. By the way, those "statues" are much smaller than they made them appear in the intro segment. Anyway, Foa Foa wins and Marisa chalks that up to Mick's good leadership abilities. Probst gives them their flint and asks Galu's Russell if he's disappointed in his team. Russell says he is not. Probst says they are now "the underdogs" after losing just one challenge and not by much. Probst is obsessed with underdogs, but then if they actually turn things around and do well, he's mad. I don't get it. Meanwhile, John is so tired from his swim that he insists on sitting on the mat while everyone else is standing, which Erik does not appreciate, calling him "pretty boy" in an interview. Because Erik was cast on this show based on his intelligence and not his looks, right? You got out-strength-ed by a little fat man, so suck it.
Foa Foa arrives at their campsite and are finally allowed to talk to each other. Ben lets everyone know that he's a hillbilly and thus has a great deal of experience with the survival stuff. For instance: "bathrooms should definitely not be up from camp, they should be away." Dr. Mick interviews that Ben commanded everyone's attention, whether he wanted to give it or not. Dr. Mick is jealous at first, then perfectly happy to let Ben step up and be the leader and get voted off. Meanwhile, Li'l Russell sits around and drinks water, telling us that he has no intention of working when there are secret alliances to form with "each one of the dumb girls." Is he being sexist? No. We all know that this show casts a bunch of dumb young girls every season. The great part comes on the few occasions when those dumb young girls ends up being really good at this. Like that one time Amanda did that thing three seasons ago. Or Sugar. Li'l Russell quickly pulls the women aside individually and proposes his secret alliance. Does he really think it's that secret when no doubt everyone else sees him going off with one girl at a time to walk along the beach and talk? Li'l Russell is pleased to report that on Day 1 he has an alliance with "the dumb short-haired blonde," "the even dumber long-haired blonde," and "the dark-haired girl" who apparently is not dumb. "I like to call it my dumbass girl alliance," he says. I just keep waiting for an interview with one or all of the dumbass girls where she says that she doesn't believe a word out of Russell's mouth but figured she might as well humor him. But that does not happen.