Episode Report Card Joe R: A | 1632 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT The Winner of the Ham Battle is You
By Joe R | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2010.07.25
That night, Betty and Henry are getting amorous in bed when she hears a noise out in the hallway. It's Sally, of course. She's trying to sneak a phone call to her dad. Betty takes the phone away and tells Sally she'll see Don tomorrow. And then, because so far this has been a pretty average moment devoid of the usual Betty awfulness, she adds: "Were you calling to complain about how awful I am? Don't expect any sympathy when he hears my side of the story." I know it says all sorts of terrible things about me, but Betty's awful mothering is easily my favorite thing about the character. What fresh psychological hell will she unleash on her poor doomed brats from week to week? I'm on pins and needles, giggling. Sally begs her mom not to tell her dad anything, and having successfully cowed her child, Betty orders her to bed. Back in the boudoir, Betty gets kissy again, but Henry instead proposes they wait until Don takes the kids tomorrow and they can take a little day trip. Yeah, watching Mommie Dearest doesn't exactly put me in the mood either, Henry, I feel you.
The next morning, Don shows up to pick up Sally and Bobby. Sally, for as much as she wanted to call Don last night, telegraphs her discomfort with her dad, even wiping the top of her head after he kisses it. Poor, messed up kid. Don and Betty have a terse exchange of words over baby Gene (Carla took him for the day, since Don wasn't going to and Betty and Henry have plans), and Don and Henry have an even more terse exchange about nothing at all. After Don and the kids leave, Henry and Betty get in the car, in the garage. But rather than embark on a trip up the Hudson, Henry wants to get busy right in the front seat. Where are Peggy and Joey to do the "John and Marsha" voices when we need them?
That night, Don tucks the kids into their bunk beds at the Sad Pad. The next day, they watch...Dennis the Menace? Some TV show or another. Sad music plays, because this is what's become of Don's time with his kids, but let's be honest: was his quality time with them any more vibrant before the divorce? When it's time for Don to return them home, they find the house empty. So Don sits in a dark house that used to be his and waits for Betty and Henry to return. When they do, Don announces his presence and says it's 10:00. Henry said he thought they said they'd be back at 10; Don says they didn't. Betty: "I waited for you plenty of times." Don asks Henry to leave them alone, but of course Henry is a man and does not have to do what Don tells him to do. So he asks Betty to tell him what to do. Even her "It's fine" is too ambiguous, he wants to know if he should stay or go. Betty says to stay. Oh, Henry, not your finest hour. Don asks when Betty's moving out -- it's been a month since she was supposed to be gone. Betty makes some flimsy excuse about finding a place that's right for the kids, but Don says whatever the case, if she's not gone soon, he's going to have to start collecting rent. Betty is as shocked at this statement as anything she's heard. Almost hard to believe anyone's ever called her spoiled. Don turns to Henry and says he could buy the place. "Don," Henry says, "it's temporary." Quick as a whip, Don says, "Believe me, Henry, everybody thinks this is temporary." SLAM! Exit line! Draper gets the last word!