Episode Report Card LuluBates: B | 7 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Locke and Load
By LuluBates | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2007.03.07
Sayid is on the couch at the ranch. Patch has just pulled the bullet out of his arm and is about to start sewing up the wound. There's an extreme close-up shot of the bullet hole and the needle poised to start stitching. And I have officially lost my appetite. Thanks, show! Patch stops his ministrations to yell at his Evil Cat in Russian. Sayid asks what he said, and Patch explains that he asked Nadia, the Evil Cat, to be polite in front of their guest. "Guest"? Don't you mean "guy you shot"? Maybe that's what the kids are calling it these days, but Emily Post might take issue with it. Nadia the Evil Cat was named after Nadia Comaneci, the greatest athlete of all time. I thought the Soviets hated the Romanians. Or maybe I hate the Romanians? Oh wait, no -- I hate the Romantics. "I hear / the secrets that you keep!" Ugh. So, it's definitely the Russians who hate the Romanians. After another gratuitous wound shot, Patch proclaims Sayid mended. He wants to make amends with a glass of iced tea. Wow. Does that qualify as adequate restitution in Russia? I think we now know why Communism failed! Patch takes the opportunity to go see what Locke is up to. Locke is still playing chess. Seriously. He is STILL PLAYING CHESS. Patch suggests that Locke shouldn't waste his time. Patch has been playing against that computer for ten years and has never beaten it. Three grand masters of chess programmed it, and it cheats. Locke says he has played a lot of computers, and he doesn't think they know how to cheat. Being able to cheat is what makes being human so distinctly wonderful. Well, that and our opposable thumbs and excellent television writing!
Kate is suspicious. But not as suspicious as Sayid! Kate says it doesn't make any sense. Why would they just let Patch stay? Sayid says it makes perfect sense if he is one of them. Kate looks shocked. Shocked! You let him shoot you!, she says. Why are we just sitting here? Sayid whips out a chalkboard to spell it out for her: "We are sitting here, Kate, because I am sure he is not alone." The music is Very Dramatic during this exchange.
Back on the beach, the Losties have nominated Hurley as their one ping-pong chance to free themselves at last from the harsh rule of Sawyer's name-calling ways. Sawyer calls him "Grimace." That's it, Sawyer, get inside his head! Make him feel bad about himself! Ping-pong is all about the psychology! In an unexpected turn of events, Hurley flips the psych-out right back at him by asking if they are going to play with a "mercy rule." Meaning that if he is up 11-0, he automatically wins. Sawyer scoffs that Hurley will be up that high, but agrees. Hurley asks if he wants to volley to see who serves, but Sawyer just lets him start. Hurley proceeds to kick his ass. Wacky!