Episode Report Card Keckler: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flight Of The Simulator
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.03.2004
"It's me -- Archer!" says Quantum. Degra wants to know what species Quantum is. Quantum tries to fob him off by saying Degra's been through a lot over the last few days. "What SPECIES?" Degra yells. Quantum gives him a steady look: "I'm human." Degra all but falls over his nappy hair in surprise as he realizes Quantum's from "the Earth vessel."
Okay, now wait a minute -- do you mean to tell me that after Hellena Handjob massaged X-Rays out of Quantum's body, the Xindi don't even know what he looks like? I'd think they'd have "America's Most Furrowed" posters up in every Bug House beauty parlour, Snake Eyes Starbucks, and Aquamen water treatment facility. Quantum pleads, "Degra, you have to listen to me -- I'm not your enemy anymore. You spent the last two days in an interrogation chamber; whatever the Insectoids did to you must have affected your memory!" And if there's a warm seat on the Aurora Chair in there, Degra's going to have a miniature Quantum running around his lobes for several seasons. He can name him Snufflefurrowgus. Incidentally, I never had an imaginary friend -- I didn't quite understand how they worked. Although, if I recall correctly, my little sister did have one named "Wulla." I think her name was supposed to be "Willa." She was a bumblebee who, after living with us for awhile, decided to stay at Long Lake in Michigan one summer. According to Nessa, we never saw her again. I think that's a good thing, because Minnesota winters don't generally work well with the bumblebee's constitution. Wait, neither do Michigan winters! Great, now I'm sad. Poor Wulla and her imaginary immune system. Well, THAT was quite a detour -- I'll Mapquest us back: Quantum, hair, (fake) shuttle, Degra, hair, prison love.
Quantum bounds forward and tells Degra that his name is Quantum, and that they just escaped from a Bug House jail. Degra can't believe they were in jail. "We've shared a cell for ALMOST THREE YEARS!" Did all those years mean nothing to you, Degra? Degra still doesn't believe it. Quantum tells him to roll up his sleeve. They compare forearm tattoos. One says "Quantum," encircled by a big heart and a drooping rose, and the other says "Aliens Do It Better" with lots of curlicues and flourishes. Quantum tells Degra that the conflict between the Xindi and the humans is over: "We both lost." But then they found each other -- Degra was looking for blood, Quantum was looking for companionship and they both got their wish. Would you believe I've never seen even one episode of seen Oz? Degra shoves Quantum's arm away. Aw, baby, why you gotta be like that? Quantum says, "I promise I'll explain everything." Over a cup of General Foods Interspecies Coffee that will remind them of that little café in the shower room.