Episode Report Card Keckler: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flight Of The Simulator
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.03.2004
I think this is really where I knew that this whole thing was a charade, because they wouldn't have written the destruction of Earth into the story without treating us to a massive explosion. It actually would've been kind of cool if they had recycled that particular scene from "Twilight" in the previouslies (if there had been any tonight), because it could have tricked us into thinking that Earth blew up sending us back to "Twilight"'s timeline, where Quantum had a relapse or something.
Degra sits back and says, "We were successful." But he doesn't sound that happy about it. Dudes, it still really bothers me how unoriginal it is for the writers to take the Mr. Men Xindi, the Arboreal Xindi, and the Aquamen Xindi and make them out to be the most sympathetic of all the Xindi species. Bug and Snake = bad because they are "ugly" and "creepy." But ask yourself this: does that stop Donald Trump, Scottie Pippen, or Mena Suvari? Quantum snarks at the word "success," and tells Degra that after Earth was space dusted, the Xindis started in-fighting again. And we know Quantum knows that Xindis have this predilection because of what Mr. Mugato told him. Nice to know that episode was good for something other than an exercise in a sleep-apnea clinic. Quantum tells Degra that the Bug Houses attacked everyone and killed thousands. "The Reptilians and Aquatics would never allow that!" Degra said. "There wasn't a lot they could do," says Quantum. Seriously, how could the water-bound Aquamen exert any sort of force? It's not like we've seen any amphibiguity. Basically, Bug House could dance on the sand on their little, sharp legs and say, "Yeah? Well, make me!" and the Aquamen really couldn't. Although, they could splash water in their compound eyes. Regardless, if they were amphibious, they'd be called that instead of "Aquatics."
Quantum continues, saying that, while everyone else was caught up in the Weapon of Morass Destruction, the Bug House Xindi were secretly building new ships, and then used those ships to lord their armored wing casings over everyone else. Degra grabbles at his forearm and gasps. Quantum wonders if he's okay. Something squirms under Degra's skin. "That's just a bloodworm," Quantum consoles him. "It will work its way out." For the second time, I ask -- HOW will it "work its way out"? Because the only ways I can think of are either pretty gross or pretty Wrath of Khan. Like Reed, Degra doesn't like the sound of that, and asks Quantum if he can remove it. Quantum gives him a look and wordlessly gets a First Aid kit. He pulls out a serrated bread knife and tells Degra to hold still. He cuts Degra like he was nothing more than a rosemary-scented, olive-studded, lemon-zested loaf of sourdough from Noe Valley Bakery. There's fairly realistic-looking blood -- which is red, boringly enough -- and Quantum squeezes the incision between two fingers like it's a zit. Kudos -- I was thoroughly grossed out by this point, and it only got worse as Quantum slowly pulled the looong worm of Degra's arm. It wasn't tapeworm-long or anything, but, for some reason, I had imagined Regulan bloodworms to be the size of small slugs, so this was a bit ooky for me. With bloody fingers, Quantum puts the bloodworm in a glass cylinder while Degra stares at him in weird awe.