Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The one where everybody died
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.11.2002
Back at CTU, Darlene is washing her hands in the Jalapeño Spice Memorial Ladies' Room. Nina 2.0 enters, torso first, and asks how the encryption is going. Darlene says that the whole process should be completed on time. The two ladies are silent while Darlene continues to wash her hands. I keep wanting them to pay homage to that scene in Welcome to the Dollhouse where Lolita harasses Dawn Weiner. Instead, Darlene starts to philosophize about what will happen to L.A., the town where she grew up, if this bomb goes off. Nina 2.0 unenthusiastically "assures" her that everything will "probably" be okay. Nina 2.0 looks like she's got something else on her mind that she wants to tell Darlene. A secret sexual longing? Knowledge about the terrorists? She wants to borrow a tampon? We never find out. Darlene leaves the ladies room. Nina 2.0 heads for the stalls, but the scene ends before we can find out whether or not she pulled out a Palm Pilot and sent a secret email to Gaines 2.0.
This is the way we plant the bombs, plant the bombs, plant the bombs. This is the way we plant the bombs, so early in the morning! The Junkyard Gang pushes some buttons, and the timers are set. Back in the Phone Company Van, Kiefer climbs into the back and takes BlackPhoneCompanyGuy's gag off. "Are you going to kill me too?" asks BPCG. "Not today," replies Kiefer dryly. He hands BPCG a note and tells him in a velvety whisper to hide until the Junkyard Gang leaves, then go to security and give Soul Patch the note. BPCG is all, "Who are you?" Kiefer explains that he's an underkover agent. "You work for the government? And you let them kill CPCG?" accuses BPCG, lunging at Kiefer. The extra-strength Sutherland Velvet Bedroom whisper is paired with a Young Guns-era face grip as Kiefer konvinces BPCG that many more people's lives are at stake now than his friend's. Plus, as Kiefer points out, he might as well do as Kiefer says, since the Junkyard Gang is going to kill him anyway. BPCG exits. Kiefer messes up his own head with a blade to make it look like there was a struggle.
The Junkyard Gang returns from the CTU building and finds Kiefer "unconscious." Kiefer "comes to" and explains that he can't remember what happened, but BPCG must have escaped. Eddie is appalled that Kiefer let PBCG get away. "I didn't tie him up," says Kiefer. Apparently, SpindlyBeckLookAlike was the one who did that. SBLA starts casting suspicion on Kiefer, who just walked in off the street in the last couple of hours and joined their gang. Kiefer and SBLA go at it. Eddie orders them into the van. The van pulls out of the garage, revealing BPCG under a nearby SUV waiting to carry out Kiefer's rekwest. Oh, look who just happens to be entering CTU just as the Junkyard Gang is clearing out! It's Spawn and JonBenet. "Soul Patch is expecting us," says Spawn to the security guard. "Where are we?" asks JonBenet. "Don't worry," says Spawn. "We're safe here." The screen splits to reveal a timer with only seven minutes left before detonation. The time is 10:49:26 AM.