Episode Report Card Niki: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Where's That High Road?
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 12.18.2000
Jake hops on the Stool to share his wisdom about women. You may want to take notes. He tells us that he was in college when he figured out that "women are always disappointed, no matter what you do. So, finally, it doesn't matter." Hmm, I'm not always disappointed, and my friends aren't always disappointed, which leads me to conclude that if all the women Jake's been with are always disappointed, maybe he should stop for a moment and consider what the constant variable was in his relationships. Namely, him. What a jackass.
Back in the tangled sheets, Tiffany is managing to combine an "I'm okay with it, really" speech with a guilt trip. She lists off his obligations, one of which is an "ex-wife who's still really your wife," and it's clear that she's hovering somewhere near the bottom of his priorities. Jake tiredly says they've talked about this so many times, but Tiffany corrects him: they talk around it. "Well, talk to me," Jake says.
Back on the Stool, Professor Jake is still dispensing his wisdom. He says that if you love a woman, "you exist to make her happy." He says he doesn't have a problem with making other people happy; he's just tired of always failing at it. Then he laughs, but it's pretty humorless.
Tangled sheets. Jake struggles to say the right thing. He says he doesn't know why it's so hard for him to tell Tiffany how he feels, but he finds it really difficult to go back to that place where "you're vulnerable." Somebody pass Tiffany a spoon, or better yet, a shovel. It looks like she can't eat it up fast enough. They get all nuzzly and slurpy and...fast-forward, fast-forward...
Cut to Jake's car puling into the cinema parking lot. Grace goes for the quick getaway, but Jake's onto her. He wants to meet her date, and there's no getting out of it. We get an extreme close-up of Spencer's goofily grinning maw, as he recounts that his "eighth birthday was at this very mall!" The camera pans back as Spencer continues blabbing, summing up with, "And that's why I drink coffee!" He lifts his glass for emphasis. Jake's parental concerns about this guy putting his hands on his daughter are, understandably, laid to rest. Jake extricates himself, and Grace almost looks sorry to see him go. "Your dad is like Lee Van Cleef," Spencer grins. Apparently, he's read the IMDB's mini-biography on the guy, but Grace has no idea who he's talking about, and Spencer is horrified. As they wander off toward the cinema, he repeats the name Lee Van Cleef eight hundred and six more times, but Grace assures him that she still doesn't know who the guy is. She's already ready for the date to end.