Episode Report Card Niki: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Where's That High Road?
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 12.18.2000
Anyway, Jake starts muttering to Tiffany about this "putz" named Howard, saying he always drops a couple hundred dollars at the restaurant. And since Jake would be a ho for free...well, you can do the math. Tiffany stares at Jake like he's suddenly become a greasy, wart-ridden reptile -- in other words, like she's seeing him clearly for the first time -- and shakes her head. Her mouth's open, but she can't seem to force the words out. Jake doesn't know what her problem is.
Cut to the high-school hallway. A couple of doofuses shove each other along it, while Grace watches. They stop when they pass her, turn around, and come to talk to her.
Grace steps up for her turn on the Soliloquy Stool. Except it's not a stool. She grabs a chair, spins it around, and straddles it. Grace, it seems, has been watching too many reruns of Happy Days on some crappy cable network, and has copied a move à la that mislabeled purveyor of cool, Arthur Fonzarelli. "Pace and Spencer," she says, all business, and explains that they were all in a car together for Driver's Ed in the summer. If she just got her learner's permit, what was she doing in a car over the summer? Whatever. Anyway, Grace basically makes it clear that the situation is now 'Eli Who?' She has a raging case of the hots for Pace (who, I think it warrants mentioning, bears more than a striking resemblance to Eli. And while I'm on an aside here, who would ever name their kid that, anyway? Isn't Pace like some kind of salsa?). She likens her feelings for Pace to a fever. Insert your own bad '70s lyric here. We see Grace greet Pace and Spencer in the hallway. Suddenly, Soliloquy Grace is all uncertain and grasping at love straws, explaining that her name rhymes with Pace's -- "not that that necessarily means..." -- and "plus, he, like, talks to" her. She looks at the camera and then grudgingly admits, "But...he talks to everyone."
Spencer and Pace ("Eli Light") chit-chat with Grace about learner's permits and driving with mothers. Spencer makes the requisite mothers-and-driving joke. He chews his gum in such a way that I feel I'm sharing the experience, and dude, I really don't want to. He screws up his face, leans in close to Grace, and asks what's wrong with her shirt -- "Is that sweat?" Luckily, Wannabe Jolie sidles to the rescue, telling him to shut up. (On a side note, it looks like she's caught the dreaded barrette disease that afflicted Grace for all those months.) Pace makes a couple more jokes about driving, Grace smiles gamely, and Carla maintains that bored expression of which she's so fond. The guys rough-house a little and then head off down the hallway. Grace complains to Carla that she hates it when guys "do that -- like, humiliate each other right in front of you." "So you like Pace?" is Carla's reply. Grace asks if it's that obvious. "To me, but I'm really perceptive," Wannabe intones. "I scare myself." I'm afraid, too, Wannabe. I'm afraid you're not Angelina, and darling, you never will be. Carla observes that "the loud one" seems "kind of obsessed" with Grace. Grace isn't exactly over the moon to hear it, and wonders why it couldn't be Pace. Nice going Grace. You just opened the door for Wannabe to drag in her tired old Wise in the Ways of the World routine. ["She should look out, or Jen Lindley will sue her for stealing her bit." -- Wing Chun] Carla advises Grace to go out with the "annoyingly loud" friend to get Pace's attention. Which is a good plan, really, if you're into working your way through friends. Because in high school, people are never too quick to call you a slut or anything, and most people are willing to trash their best friend's feelings for a crack at his girlfriend. Grace isn't totally convinced, so Carla puts it all in perspective for her: "Guys can either think or feel, but never both at once." Grace, sadly, isn't experienced enough to tell Wannabe where to cram her insight, and actually thinks that it "explains a lot."