Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.25.2008
Over at Kota, there is way too much discussion over how to make a latrine. Actually, this is all Ace the Prat's fault, because while Paloma seems in favor of the more sensible and less disgusting option of digging a hole, crapping in it, and covering it up and to each his or her own, Ace the Prat wants to create some sort of moving latrine based on the Roman legions he learned about in his posh little public school. Paloma's had enough and goes off with Charlie to talk about how Ace is getting on her nerves. "He will not shut up," she says. No, he won't. As he interviews, delightfully oblivious to the fact that the rest of his tribe (and the editors) can't stand him: "I'm the full package. I'm not just a physical competitor; I'm a mental competitor." Look out, there, Ace! You just dropped your English accent. Here's a fun fact: people with genuine English accents don't randomly lose them for complete sentences. My dad has been in this country for thirty years and he might pronounce certain words in an American way, but he has never strung together a complete sentence in an American accent like that. "I have no fear of standing in front of Jeff and expecting my check for a million dollars," he says. Yeah, it'll be just like home with your rich parents, won't it? Prat. Meanwhile, Corinne and Jacquie are wishing they were on latrine digging duty since they're still stuck at camp with Ace, who thinks they should split up into two groups and look for dry wood. His accent just disappeared again, by the way.
Marcus goes off with Charlie, who is apparently back from his shit-talking and shit-ditch-digging session with Paloma only to go off on another shit-talking session with Marcus, who wonders how many days into this thing it will take before Ace gets irritating. "One," Charlie says. He thinks Ace the Prat is here to "play hard," so the best strategy for them is to "lay low." Marcus agrees that they just have to let Ace the Prat "run the show" until it gets so obnoxious that the tribe has no choice but to vote him out. But ... you can't vote Ace out! He's the full package! And here's where Charlie gets a little creepy and starts saying he's looking for a player he has a "connection" with. In an interview, he elaborates on that, saying he has a "special bond" with Marcus, because Marcus picked him to be on the team and Marcus has "deep, blue, beautiful eyes." So it's not so much a "connection" as it is a one-sided crush. Marcus diplomatically says he thinks Charlie is a "well-balanced human being." He doesn't say anything about Charlie's eyes, though. Charlie says he thinks he can trust Marcus, based on knowing him for all of one hour and Marcus being hot. Marcus tells us that he's picked up on the very subtle fact that Charlie is attracted to him, but he doesn't see that developing into any kind of romance since Marcus is straight, not to mention the fact that Charlie is lame. "We're in Eden but there's no two Adams here," Marcus concludes in a line the producers totally fed him. Hey Marcus? It's Adam and Steve, not two Adams.
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