Episode Report Card Pamie: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Who's Your Daddy? Who's Your Daddy? Say it! Say it!"
By Pamie | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.27.2000
Pan across to Scowl-t and Will, the losers. They watch Verve jump in front of them to attack Terri with a kiss. "You know, that's gonna bother me for a while," Scout says to Will. Will looks away, thinks, smiles, and reaches over and kisses Scout hard. Everyone cheers except for Sean, who runs up closer and looks very jealous.
They walk through a cemetery. The music fades away as Bella points outward. "That must be it," she sighs. Hey. We've seen this house before. This is Joe-the-Bookie's house! You can't just throw a couch on the lawn and expect me to not notice that this is the exact same place where Bella recited her letter to her daddy. They see a woman carry groceries up to the front door. Will asks Bella if that's her mother. "Yeah," Bella says. She stares and exhales. "Oh, God. I didn't know it'd be this...easy." She says she thought she'd feel different or that "something would just happen." "She's pretty," Verve chimes in. After a few stares he says, "What? She is." Bella exhales. "Okay, guys. I can do this on my own." She walks towards the house. Scout gives her the, "Don't forget to ask if we can fuck," stare.
"Donna?" Bella has walked up to the woman on the porch. "It's me. Bella." Man, Townie women are just ridden hard, I tell you. Move over, Mamawhore. Mamaslut's in town. She hugs Bella for a while. "I didn't know it was you, baby. You're, you're, you're, you're so tall." Bella says she looks the same. "God, I'm glad you came. Oh, damn, girl, you're pretty." How many times has Mamaslut heard those ten words? They hug for a long time. Scout watches. Will shakes his head. "Ten years." "Yeah," Terri says. Mamaslut takes Bella inside the house as we go to commercial.
Bella and Mamaslut take a seat on a bench in the backyard. "How's Gracie?" "She's fine. A lot like you, actually." Heh. Mamaslut asks if Bella got the gift she sent. Bella says that it was a lot to handle, and that she didn't get around to opening it. Mamaslut dismisses the gift and says it was just a book and some perfume. Bella asks why Mamaslut never tried to contact her. "God, there, there, that, there are so many things I want to say to you, I don't even know where to start." "Yeah, me too." Mamaslut says she wants them to know each other again. And Grace, too. Bella doesn't answer, but instead looks off. Mamaslut asks if Bella is in school. They laugh, because of course she's in school. I do think, however, that it's a valid question. She asks how UnVince is doing. "Um. We, we actually have this problem and that's why I'm here." "Oh, God. Is he okay?" Way to make it sound like UnVince is dying, Bella. "No. Um. Somehow the gas station is up for sale, and I guess you never put the...the deed in Daddy's name, so if you could just send it over to us I'm sure we could work something out, 'cause, it's our home and we love it there." Mamaslut asks if she means to sign the station over to her and UnVince. "Yeah." Okay. Check this. Mamaslut says that the station was never really in UnVince's name and that it was her father's and left to her. UnVince was never supposed to live in it, and it certainly doesn't belong to him. "I know the station is for sale. I put it up for sale." "But the station is our life," Bella warbles. Mamaslut stands up. "Well, it doesn't have to be. I want to be a part of your life again and I don't want to get into anything with Charlie about it. I just, I just want you to know that I'm here..." Bella interrupts to ask her what she's talking about. "Bella! Look at me. I'm not young anymore. And I...I need that money, and this is, this is a lot more complicated than you think." Who will remain more righteous here?
Bella: "Is that why you sent that gift? To get what you wanted?" Mamaslut: "Oh, baby. I've never gotten anything that I wanted." Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Townie Battle Cry! Bella: "Well, you certainly know how to get rid of something that you don't want." Mamaslut: "No, I never said that I didn't want you." After some staring, Bella releases the waterworks. "Then what was it, then? Because I don't remember any earth-shattering event that happened that year. Or that week, or even that day. So what was it that made you abandon your kids?" Mamaslut, not practiced with the parenting, tries out something she's heard other parents say, but screws it up: "Oh, God. You're just, you're, y-y-y-y-y-y-you're, you're, you're, you're too young to understand and I'll explain it some day." Bella is too high and mighty to stop now. "You know what? You can't. Because I have spent TEN YEARS pretending that you don't even exist! And that's been really..." Pause for the tear-roll. "Really hard!" She exhales and wipes her tears away. "But, you know what? It won't be anymore." As she turns to go, Mamaslut bellows, "Bella." Bella turns back around for the big finish. "And if you think...that we're gonna let you take our home? You better think again." And then you think two more times, Mamaslut. Yeah. Think on that, bitch. Mamaslut sits down and exhales. She stands up.
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