Episode Report Card Pamie: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Who's Your Daddy? Who's Your Daddy? Say it! Say it!"
By Pamie | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.27.2000
Shot of the moon. It's still not pink, even though they gave it their best shot.
Bella has her head in Will's lap. Terri has her head in Verve's lap. The fire is going. I think we missed all the fun. Terri snaps up when she hears something outside. They start getting nervous thinking that someone is there to kill them. They all stand up. Terri flips off her blanket so that her legs are fully exposed for the serial killer. Will decides to take control and find out what the noise is. He cops a quick feel on Bella before he does, though. I saw him. Close-up on the front door as the shadows of Sean and Scout clearly enter, but these kids don't recognize them. Quick! Follow the voices in the dark. "Bella!" "Scout!" "Sean?" "Jake?" Everyone exhales for a second, except for Scout who is still clearly spooked. "What's he doing in a dress?" "She's a girl," Verve shouts. "She's a what?" "A GIRL!" everyone shouts. "Oh. Okay." End of that. In the dark, Sean asks Bella what happened. Grease Monkey Girl immediately diagnoses the truck with a broken axle. Terri asks where Scout's car is. He says they hitched. "Soooo...we'rrrrre...straaannnndded." Either Verve was doing his impersonation of Ricky's mom from Better Off Dead, or he has turned into a retarded llama.
"Time" "passes." As Will plays Prometheus with the fire, Scout is on his back saying he's a "little unclear"...pause to look at Terri..."about a lot of things." He asks what Terri is doing there. Verve shrugs while chewing (where did they get food, again?). Terri looks to Bella. Bella says that she invited Terri to come with her. "You asked...Jake to come!" Sean says, like Bella's being stupid. Bella says she doesn't appreciate being followed. Scout says he was worried about her and Will. Will turns and asks why anyone would be worried about him. Oh, I wish Brenda Blethyn was here so after every secret and lie was exposed she could warble, "I'm so SORreeee, sweeeeetheart! Yoooou wont sahm teeeeea, then?"
Scout says he knows about the scholarship. Will attacks Bella for telling his secret. Bella says she was worried about him. Sean says that it's just a scholarship. "Not a lifeline." Scout says; it's "just a setback." Will says there's more to it than that. "I have no options!" In the distance, you can hear Finn shout, "I have an idea!" Will chastises Bella again. "I'm here to save your ass from getting thrown into public auction." He is? What's he supposed to do? Pretend he's Bella? "Will, what are you talking about?" Sean is trying to up his need-to-know status. "Public Auction? What are you talking about? Are you gonna lose the garage?" Bella tells Will to shut up. Verve laughs and says, "Can't any of you guys keep a secret?" Will smiles and says, "And this is coming from a guy who's masquerading as a gay with a guy who's really a girl!" A gay. A gay. "And, yeah, I admit it's a pretty screwed-up situation. Thanks for rubbing it in." Verve goes and pouts next to Terri. Scout smirks and asks Terri why she did this. Terri sits upright and says, "It's our business. Not yours." "Apparently, everything is Scout's business," Sean says. Yay! "Yeah, well a lot of things are. And you do not even know what's going on here." Sean keeps nodding and says, "Actually, I do, Scout." Close-up on Bella as Sean continues. "I happen to know everything that's going on here." "Oh! You want some mooooore crumpets, sweeeetie? I just put a fresh batch on the fire, here. Yes? Little boy-girl? You want something to wear over your boy-girl legs? A frock or a jumper, maaaaybeee?" Scout sits up and says, "Well, good, then. That's what this whole trip is about, then. Right, Bella? Finding out about the truth about us?" "No, Scout. That is not what this trip is about." Scout. Get a clue. Then ask Grace out if you're so horny for some of Bella's genetic code. And nice sentence structure, by the way. "This trip has nothing to do with you," Will says. This confuses Scout. Everyone else gets quiet out of respect for the confusion. Will breaks the silence by saying that the garage is up for auction and that Bella's mom has the deed. Remember that subplot? Bella gets mad at Will for telling everyone what they already told everyone earlier. Scout says that he's not going to let this happen. "I can make a call!" Sean gets all macho and puts on that silly Clint Eastwood voice to say, "You think it's that simple. Man! I didn't like you from the moment I saw you. I thought you were this rich, spoiled jerk and I was so right." Still holding on to "Jerk" as the ultimate insult to the very end. You've got to give them points for tenacity. Scout says that they have a problem, and it's because they have "one thing in common" and that Sean knows "exactly what that is." Sean walks closer to Scout and growls, "I do have a problem with you." Scout backs up and puts on that laughing face to say, "You know what? I think you're just a little pissed because Bella might find out that she has a choice and she might not choose you." Boom! The fight begins. If it weren't so dark, I might be able to tell you who hits whom and who is holding back whom, but from all I can see Terri knocks Verve a good one in the cheekbone and Scout holds Will by the crotch. That's in my world, anyway. Even after I clearly see Scout away from the fight, holding his arms in the air, the fighting continues with people screeching and making grunting noises. Once it finally calms down, and Sean has his head in Brenda Blethyn's lap, crying, Bella shouts, "What is the matter with everyone?" You know what happens after the fight, right? Giant make-out scene. Everyone stares at nothing until we fade to black.
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