Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who Nose
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.28.1999
Get out the barf bags. Etta James is dissed as "At Last" plays and we see Mary and Robbie Palmer reaching for the same piece of trash with their litter-grabbing sticks. Aw! Young love is so freaking stupid sometimes! Mary and Robbie throw leaves at each other. Mary and Robbie smile at each other through a bush. Robbie gives Mary a bouquet made from weeds. The two of them sit down and Robbie's little finger lands on Mary's. Aw! Retch!
Down at the CamPound, RevCam is moaning to StuporMom that Mary won and they lost, that punishment shouldn't be fun, blah blah. RevCam confesses that he wouldn't be nearly as annoyed if he'd only known about this guy from the beginning. Okay, so let me get this straight. Mary should have immediately gone to him on Day One and said, "Dad, one of the guys serving community service is hot." Day Two: "Dad, I think he thinks I'm hot, too." Day Three: "Dad, I gave my phone number to the hot guy. I'm hoping to spend at least thirty minutes engaged in inane, giggly conversation with him sometime before the end of the week. Also, while in the shower this morning, I fantasized about --" I mean, what's the big freaking deal? I think she already told him way more than I would have. But whatever. I guess the Rev has to have this fake lying-by-omission to panic about, and nothing more serious than that. I mean, what if Mary did something REALLY bad, and then a female teen viewer did something similar? Lawsuit time! So that's why you can't have a family-values type show with relevant issues. That's my theory, at least. The only alternative is to believe that there are people who actually live like this. I don't believe it. We're talking one step away from the Flanderses, here. Maybe I'm sheltered, but I just don't know anyone like that. So StuporMom suddenly asks what RevCam isn't telling her about Shana. RevCam doesn't answer and she makes a really undignified, dog-like face of begging at him. So he sticks his finger right in her face and makes her agree not to tell anyone -- especially Matt. Blah blah blah, RevCam won't tell Matt about Shana going to NYU because Shana's supposed to tell him herself. The CamRents hope Matt won't be too pissed at Daddy Rev. They kiss. Whatever.
Simon enters the radiance emitted by the Holiday Mural and catches his new buddies in the act of huffing. They are huffing into ("out of"? Damn! Deborah, can you lend me your Bing-cherry bong?) lunch bags. "You guys are gonna get sick!" exclaims Simple. The Paint Heads explain huffing to Simon, taunt him for not trying it, and then Cusack Boy gets a nosebleed. Simon's worried, but Blood Nose says it happens all the time. Simon's black, black eyebrows furrow in concern and in his desire to hurry and tattle. He can't tattle, though, because one of the Huffers threatened that his life would be hell if he did.