Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who Nose
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.28.1999
Mary hauls ass down the stairs just in time to see the CamRents coming in and closing the front door. She tells them some crap about how honest and sincere Robbie is, and RevCam says he thinks they're gonna need some time on this one. Mary's makeup is several shades darker and orange-er than her neck, so she says "yeah" and runs back up the stairs. The CamRents grimace and huddle together for warmth in the cold light of the cruel, cruel world.
At Chickenhead's pad, Matt doesn't want coffee. He wants to know what his dad knows that he doesn't. Shana goes "Gulp!" and then says, "I've been accepted to NYU for pre-med and classes start in January." Guess what Dopey says. He says, "NYU as in New York?" No, dumb ass. NYU as in Nasty Yellow Underwear. I think that, just to be sure, he should also ask if she means med as in medical and January as in the month. While they haggle about it, Shana points out that Jonas Salk went to NYU. Um, so? ["Yeah, really. Mr. Stupidhead goes there, and look what happened to him. Heh, just kidding." -- Sars] Matt says that he bet Jonas Salk told his girlfriend about it before he went. Ooh, busted! Baby, CRUNCH! "Can't we talk about this?" begs Chickenhead. Matt gestures with his index finger exactly as his father would and says it's too late for that. Then he grabs his vinyl jacket and runs out into the night with his saggy-booty Levi's all sad.
At the high school, Mary is scaring people with her yellow top and purple headband. She has checked her stalking-schedule of her sister's whereabouts and so is able to catch Lucy on the stairs and ask her in intercede with the CamRents on Mary's behalf. Lucy says the same stuff she said earlier about not being the daughter and the sister at the same time. THIS SHOW DOES NOT NEED TO BE AN HOUR LONG. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MATERIAL. Mary says "sister to six, daughter to two, blah blah, do the math," and pokes Lucy in the forehead, pissing her off and cracking me up.
RevCam is about to drop off Simon at school when Beulah Balbricker walks up and tells him that Pete "John Cusack's nephew" Lawrence collapsed with a bloody nose. She asks Simon if he knows (Get it? "Knows"?) anything about it. Of course, the three other huffers are standing right in front of the car giving Simon the Sneers Of Foreboding, so Simon says no. RevCam uses his sacred gift of telepathy to read Simon like a book. I thought it was pretty cool of him to ask if Simon wanted to be late for school and offer to take a drive. For about five seconds there, Daddy Rev didn't annoy me.
Annie's cleaning up after the twins' meal when Matt bursts through the door. He stomps right up to her and, waving his hand all in her personal space, asks if she was aware that Dad gave Shana the NYU reference. Uh, Matt. Even though your mother's a doormat who sits around all day waiting to agree with whatever your dad says, that doesn't mean you can be all loud-talking to her and wave your arm in her face. You're lucky I'm not there to drag you out by your greasy hair. Tell him something, Annie! Don't just stand there! The best StuporMom can do is: "Good morning to you, too." Matt bitches about everyone knowing Shana's business but him, and about his dad sending the woman he loves three thousand miles away, and whatever else. A tiny patch of chest fuzz peeks out of the neckline of his sweatshirt. He yells at his mother as if it's her fault that his girlfriend doesn't care about his feelings. Then he runs out and slams the door. Damn, he's lucky he didn't grow up in my house.