Episode Report Card Sobell: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Can I Get A 'Hell, Yeah'?"
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.15.2001
Back in the operating theatre, Crichton's still doing the incoherent-screaming thing. The safety phrase is "fine leather-clad ass," John! We go to a close-up of him screaming, and then segue into what's going on in his head.
He's in a IASA jacket and generic white guy clothes, standing on the dock. It is dark; there is a moon out, its light splashed on the surface of the water. We hear "John!" and Crichton turns around. He looks startled. We see Harvey walking down the dock toward John, saying grimly, "It's me, John. I'm still here." Crichton protests, "What? No, no, no, no, no. No. You're gone, the chip's gone -- get out of my head." Harvey says flatly, "I'd like to. I don't wish to remain here. Therefore, you must die." Cut to Crichton looking at him, clearly thinking, "My secret girlfriend got killed, I let some big leather dress-wearing dude cut open my head, I'm strapped to a table with my brains on display, and the procedure didn't even work? THE HELL?"
Credits! So dramatic! So filled with leather and puppets!
Cut to Greenschlick trying to make a case for his continued existence. He's interrupted by a Peacekeeper flunkie most accurately described as "Sergeant-Major Good-looking." He's got a decoded message: Moya's swinging to position, all is going according to Scorpius's evil plans -- except because the battle took longer than they thought, Scorpius's rendezvous with the mother ship will be delayed by 3.5 arns. Both Scorpius and Braca stop gloating immediately. Scorpy says that Crichton's shipmates won't stay away that long. Ever the yes-man, Braca says, "We can eliminate them." My, he has symmetrical eyebrows. What is it about the Peacekeeper men that makes them all so metrosexual? I mean, you've got Crais, who clearly has a whole cabinet full of hair products secreted somewhere aboard Talyn -- and probably gets the ship to laser-trim his beard -- and you've got Braca, who would appear to be no stranger to the esthetician's table. Scorpius says dismissively that Moya and her crew don't worry -- Talyn and his well-groomed pilot do. Sergeant-Major Good-looking protests that he flew them there undetected, but Scorpy snaps, "Because Crais and Talyn were preoccupied with Officer Sun's last flight!" Oh no, he di'int! Then Scorpius gets all up in Sergeant-Major Good-looking's personal space (understandable...) and asks, "If we were to get away now, how long would we remain undetected?" Sergeant-Major Good-looking smarms that they'd be at least a thousand metras before the gunship detected them. Scorpius fumes that it's not good enough, and the carrier's still far off. Greenschlick is watching all this with a look like, "So how can I take advantage of this?" Answer: by extending his hospitality and offering a "very private" room. He will doubtless regret that offer.