Episode Report Card Sobell: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Can I Get A 'Hell, Yeah'?"
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.15.2001
So Greenschlick and Zhaan are trundling through the halls. She tells him she's going outside to get some air and meditate, and he replies that he didn't think she was hardy enough to survive in USDA zones 1 and 2. Crais then buzzes in to see what's going on. Zhaan's pithy reply ("Nothing") gets longer when Greenschlick (AKA Scorpy, using Greenschlick as his puppet) grabs her wrist and asks, "Still in orbit? Why don't you go chase that bastard Scorpius?" We switch back to Crais, who glumly exposits the trail is cold, and then Greenschlick finds out that Crais is just hanging around waiting for Aeryn's body. He gets a very Scorpius-like look of secretive glee on hearing that. Greenschlick then proposes that Zhaan deliver the coffin up to Crais, but Zhaan plays the wilting lily. Greenschlick implores her, "I'm trying to get rid of that yarbo and his gunship from my planet. I don't trust them!" Zhaan is not having it. She storms off. Scorpius sneers at the idea of them all leaving; in the background, Braca's like, "Does that thingy you're plugged into work like dermabrasion? Can I try it?"
Meanwhile, back on Moya, Chiana's helping Jothee write that letter to Penthouse that starts, "I never thought I had a shot with my stepmom-to-be. Then I made her potato chips, and next thing I knew, we were dry-humping in the kitchen..." The whole point to this scene is that Chiana has cold feet about settling down with D'Argo, so instead of doing the mature thing and talking to him about it, she's going with the scorched-earth tactic of effecting a twofold betrayal.
Crichton and his naked brain are on display back at Kaiser PermaNOTe. The operation's over, and the doctor excuses itself to go to the little squeaky-talking bug-thing's room. As he leaves, Crichton manages to speak, choking out, "Aeryn's gone. Want to die." D'Argo puts it all in perspective, reminding him that Aeryn died so he could live, and the best way to honor what she did is to keep fighting. Crichton says, "Lost...still hear Scorpy." Amazingly, Stark does something useful: "This is a remnant, an impotent wraith buzzing in your ear. You are stronger than him. Show him!"
So Crichton does. We're back on the dock, and Crichton's still in his generic white guy gear, but oh, that swagger. I...I will be rewinding and reviewing that bring it ON! strut. Many times. Frame by frame by delicious frame. Crichton says, "Hey, Harvey, let's have a little chat." Harvey sounds especially fussy as he says, "I don't wish to chat, John. I wish to leave. And that is why you must die." Harvey is not especially sensitive to social cues, is he? Crichton's all, "Why don't you kill me? You've done it before -- stopped my brain function cold. What's the matter? You lost your touch?" Oooh, is there anything more fun than Belligerent Crichton? Harvey protests that the circumstances are different now. Crichton pops some gum as he points out, "Yes, they are. You got no back-up, no connections, no power supply. No place to hide." He slings an arm around Harvey's shoulder. Inexplicably, Harvey is not swooning from this. Crichton says, "I want to make some rules now..."