Episode Report Card Sobell: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "Can I Get A 'Hell, Yeah'?"
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.15.2001
We get a brilliant flash of light. When it dies down, we see the two women doing an uncanny imitation of Janus, the two-faced god. Aeryn seems to have returned to more of the self she's choosing to be, remembering Zhaan and asking what they're doing. Zhaan explains, "Unity, Aeryn. The sharing of minds and souls. As our thoughts merge, you will understand." "I understand that you shouldn't be here," Aeryn replies. Then the two women are face to face -- Zhaan has just told Aeryn she shouldn't be in that cool blue void either, and Aeryn responds, "Why are you doing this?" Zhaan answers, "Because I love you. More importantly, Crichton loves you. You must take this gift not for my sake, but for his."
Then we abruptly jerk from the dreamy, transitory ether to grimy real life for a moment. Zhaan's shaking. Back in the cosmic waiting room, a dismayed Aeryn says, "I can't. I know your thoughts and I know what this will cost you." Zhaan begs Aeryn to stop resisting, but Aeryn says no, and we go back to the real world, where Zhaan's just been flung back from the sarcophagus. She wails, "No! Aeryn!" Unfortunately, her bad day's about to get worse; the Peacekeepers have arrived and they're packing heat.
Cut to Scorpius saying, "We'll take Stark with us." Behind him, Braca stands there and tries not to fret about any possible delays cutting into his gym time -- it's abs day, after all. However, he gives orders for Zhaan to be killed. Before the Peacekeeper can shoot, he himself -- and his little friend -- are shot and killed. Stark openly goggles in shock. Zhaan's "What the frell?" look is replaced by pleased relief as a fully-living Aeryn steps out, D'Argo's Qualta blade cradled in her arms. Y'all, the first time I saw this, I actually cheered.
As Aeryn stands there trying to figure out what's going on, the touchy-feelies are all, "Woo hoo! Zhaan's raising people from the dead!" The newly resurrected has no time for it; she curtly inquires as to everyone else's whereabouts, then heads for the surgical theatre.
Meanwhile, Braca now has bigger problems than missing his abs workout and exfoliation day. Scorpius has just noted, "The commandos are dead. Even if Crais is not aware of our presence, the Scarran won't stay diverted forever." Officer Kobrin is now Scorpy's new favorite metrosexual Peacekeeper -- he'll be flying now.
And D'Argo's plan is getting put to the test now. The Scarran heads outside, and flinches in the cold, as well he should, what with running around in a nipple-exposing leather bikini with shoulder pads and all. Why didn't he go the Stark route and just kill a Muppet for its pelt? A little punch-drunk, Crichton chortles, "Here he comes! I don't think he likes the cold either. Ha!" He and D'Argo lumber toward an exit, Crichton quipping, "Warm up the hot cocoa, baby. Here we come." The Scarran goes to fire up his heat gland and fry our boys, but it's jammed. As is the door Crichton and D'Argo want to go through. Crichton throws a patented snit fit, and the reptile creeps closer. D'Argo orders Crichton to unjam the door while he tries some sort of futile and idiotic suicide move. The Scarran knocks him out with one punch.