Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Together Again
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.06.2005
2:41:23. Kiefer's hacking into Soul Patch's email, Skip is doing some unaccustomed staring at fellow humans, and TerrorTeen is watching his mom get patched up in an emergency room. Actually, the doctor is unwrapping her wound as he asks how she hurt herself. And now that we can see the bullet "hole," I really want to know what kind of ammo TerrorDad was packing. Because I've heard of bullets that fragment or expand when they strike their target, but I didn't know about bullets that take an immediate ninety-degree turn. Yes, the bullet that hit TerrorMom's arm straight-on about an hour ago appears to have left a long, horizontal slash just below her shoulder. Impressive. TerrorMom makes up a painful lie (painful for her to say, painful for the rest of us to listen to) about backing into a loose nail. The doctor gets one look at the owie and says, "This looks like a gunshot wound." TerrorMom denies it, and TerrorTeen backs her up. Dr. Yeah, Right looks at them both, then says she'll need a tetanus shot and some stitches. And he'll be right back. TerrorTeen moves to be with his mom, but she orders him to watch the doctor instead. He watches through the window as the Dr. Yeah, Right confers with a nurse, but doesn't see anything amiss. TerrorTeen says it might not be so bad if they did call the police, but TerrorMom isn't so hot on the idea of spending the rest of their lives in jail. TerrorTeen wants to know what's next for them. TerrorMom says they can get out of the city, stay somewhere for a couple of days, and leave the country. Because like any healthy, modern couple, she and TerrorDad keep separate emergency-country-leaving resources in case of situations like this.
2:43:22. I don't know what Kiefer is drinking, but it's dark and it came from Soul Patch's kitchen so it can't be good. Marcy from the DoD calls him with the news that they've identified TerrorGringo: he's a computer consultant who used to work at MacGuffin Factories. Kiefer reminds us that MacGuffin Factories designed the MacGuffin. I think my way of remembering these things is better. As Kiefer pulls an ID card of TerrorGringo up on Soul Patch's computer, Marcy explains that while TerrorGringo is no longer a MacGuffin Factories employee, he freelances for them. She further knows that TerrorGringo is in L.A. right now, although he's trying to leave. He's got a chopper meeting him in Van Nuys in fifteen minutes. Kiefer points out that all air traffic has been grounded, but Marcy says that TerrorGringo got a special clearance. Kiefer curses as if this weren't a ridiculously lucky break. Seriously, I can't think of a more conspicuous way to leave the city than via a chartered helicopter that requires special clearance to even take off. Well, I can, but it involves one of those fifteen-mile-wide alien spaceships from Independence Day, several simultaneous natural disasters, and a Beatles reunion. Kiefer tells Marcy to ground TerrorGringo's chopper, but not until he gets there, because he doesn't want TerrorGringo to see him coming. Marcy wonders if Kiefer's going to make it in time. Kiefer's going to try. Yahoo Maps, by the way, places Van Nuys nine minutes from North Hollywood, so I suppose it's feasible. Unless Yahoo Maps has been taken over by 24 writers. Soul Patch looks out the window and announces that "they're here." By which he means the Secret Service, but of course he can't actually say that because it's a secret. Kiefer hangs up and tells DoDder it's time for her to go. He goes out to meet the head of the Secret Service detail, an Agent Davis. He confirms the order that they're driving DoDder straight back to CTU, and gets a Secret Service-Mobile of his own, even though he neglected to ask for one before. DoDder comes out of the house, and Kiefer sends her on her way with a kiss. I can't believe DoDder left without saying goodbye to SoSP. I thought they had a bond.