Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Together Again
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.06.2005
In the Patchmobile, Kiefer reaches forward to put a hand on DoDder's shoulder, and asks if she's okay. "I'm almost getting used to this," she manages. "Yeah," Kiefer says, failing to add, "That'll happen when you're around me." After Kiefer has Soul Patch confirm that they're not being followed, he tells DoDder they "need to lay low for a while." Soul Patch says they can go back to Casa Patch. Which must be close, considering how quickly he got to Felsted Security last week. Kiefer thanks Soul Patch. "Wait till you see it before you thank me," Soul Patch cracks. Kiefer, of course, means the lifesaving thing. Soul Patch doesn't have anything to say to that. "I'm sure you're wondering what's going on," Kiefer begins. "Not really, no," Soul Patch interrupts. "Something wrong?" Kiefer says testily. He's not used to people wanting him to talk less. "What could be wrong?" Soul Patch says. "I'm not in federal prison any more, thanks to you and President Palmer. Bitchelle left me. I --" Which is as far as he gets in his little backstory pity party before interrupting himself to ask what's up after all. Kiefer explains to Soul Patch and the new viewers about the kidnapping and the main plot and what they were doing at Felsted Security in the first place. Soul Patch is like, "I thought you weren't in the field any more." Kiefer admits that he wasn't, but since DaD is his responsibility, he "got caught up in it." Soul Patch, on the other hand, doesn't want to get caught up in shit. "Understood," says Kiefer, giving Soul Patch the look Luke gave Han Solo before flying off to attack the Death Star.
CTU's big screen is playing a live address from President Keeler at 2:06:36. Everyone's watching him instead of working. Turn that thing off, Driscoll! There's a nuclear threat going on and your people are sitting around and staring at the idiot box. Keeler explains to the populace about how six nuclear power plants "may become unstable." They're working on the problem, but in the meantime the National Guard is going to be helping with an evacuation of the six cities in question. Must be nice to have the National Guard around for that kind of thing. As opposed to, you know, somewhere else in the world. Curtis cuts in to murmur to Driscoll that POTUS left out the fact that there's no time for a complete evacuation, and that meltdowns will cause at least 50,000 deaths per city. Driscoll says they still have time to figure out how to prevent the meltdowns. Curtis Gloomy Gusses that the "chances of doing that from here are very low." Well, sure, if everyone's glued to the boob tube. "We have to find the people who have the MacGuffin," Curtis finishes. I think the theme for the episode is pretty well set up now, Curtis. Have a seat.
At the otherwise empty restaurant that serves as ImhoTerror's ImHeadquarters, TerrorDad is sitting at the bar and talking on the phone to someone who's checking hospitals for him. No dice. The swarthy guy standing next to him says that there was no answer at TerrorAunt's house, and TerrorDad shoos him away to check the train station again. ImhoTerror comes up to TerrorDad and announces that all of the reactors have been shut down except six. He still thinks that's "more than enough to break their will." That's probably true. September 11 broke our will, after all. Now it keeps going off in all these random directions. I'd say that qualifies as broken. ImhoTerror continues that he's going to have to run the MacGuffin personally to make sure the remaining six reactors melt down "on schedule." On schedule? How anal is this guy? What'll happen if one of them melts down ten minutes late? A fallout cloud will miss the 5:17 to Schenectady? TerrorDad asks what he can do to help, but ImhoTerror just wants TerrorDad to "take care of your mess." TerrorDad says, "Don't worry, ImhoTerror. I give you my word: my wife and son will be dead by the end of this day." Talk about putting work before your family. If you're making promises like that, it may be time to reassess whether you're really on the side of good after all. ImhoTerror stares at him unimpressed for a moment, then walks away.