Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Head Games
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.07.2001
From whence they came,
Return them now,
Vanish the words,
Vanish our powers.
Piper's handwriting is surprisingly neat for one so hopped up on morphine. Also, her manicure is flawless. Are we certain this isn't Betty Ford? Not that I'd know if Betty Ford has beauticians on staff, but one would assume so, no? Anyway, oily Dolt Ratched and The Spource whisper into Piper's ears. Phoebe and Raige are still delusional, they claim. Piper's been cured. All she has to do is say the words two more times, and she'll be free. For the first time in a very long while, the scene shifts without the complicity of the White Flare. Down in Hell, the Dolt watches The Spource work his voodoo with increasing alarm. Cole remains lifeless on the floor, to the Dolt's great dismay. The Dolt takes action for once in his pathetic life. He orbs in between Skippy and his companion. "How ya doin'?" asks the Dolt, before orbing out again. Skippy, fooled by the Dolt's tricky ways, fires off a Bolt Of Death that nails his companion in the chest. The companion flames down to Filene's. The Dolt slams his fist into Skippy's head and darts over to Cole, shaking him awake. Cole flings an FBOD into Skippy, who joins his companion for name brands at drastically reduced prices. The Bint urges The Spource to finish quickly. "You're in danger," she pleads. The Dolt rushes towards Piper, batting the Bint into the wall as he goes. The Spource's deflector shield knocks the Dolt backwards across the chamber. Cole leaps to his feet and fires four FBODs into The Spource. The Bint gasps, horrified. The Spource shudders a bit with each impact, but does not break the mind meld with Piper. Dude. "Deflector shield"? "Mind meld"? When did I start recapping Enterprise? Jesus.
Noontime In The Garden Of Good And Evil. Piper has completed her second recitation of the spell. "One last time," The Spource encourages. Phoebe takes this opportunity to exercise her much-vaunted martial arts skills. She quickly disables the two flunkies restraining herself and Raige, and we cut back to Hell. Cole whips four more FBODs into The Spource with increasing ferocity as the Bint wails, "Break the connection or he'll kill you!" In The Garden Of Piper's Mind, The Spource hollers, "No!" Phoebe boots him to the grass. "I told you you were too. Late!" he spits from the ground. Not so. Cole hurls three more FBODs at The Spource. The last sends him skittering across the floor, breaking at last the mind meld. As Piper drops back down to the slab, The Spource, the flunkies, and Dolt Ratched vanish from the Garden. In Hell, The Spource unsteadily rises to his feet. Black goo gushes from the gaping wound in his side. He screams and blazes back into his usual cowled form. Using both hands, Cole conjures an FBOD the size of a beach ball and prepares to deal with The Source once and for all. The Bint darts in between Cole and The Source, taking The Flaming Beach Ball Of Death right in her alarmingly prominent boobies. Sayonara, Bint. The Source blazes away before Cole can conjure another FBBOD.