Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Take These Secondary Characters, Please!
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 02.20.2005
In the stairwell, Soul Patch starts down the steps.
TerrorDad, uncooperative to the last, rushes Kiefer. Soul Patch hears it on his earpiece and raises the alarm: "Hostile's engaged!" Castle brings TerrorMom down the stairs after Soul Patch. Kiefer and TerrorDad grapple while TerrorTeen grabs his dad's gun from the floor. You think he'll help Kiefer? That would be pretty cool of him, wouldn't it? But before he does, Kiefer prevails over his opponent all by himself with a vicious head-butt, and TerrorDad's on the ground again. Kiefer says he doesn't want to kill TerrorDad (no shit) but he will. TerrorDad slowly gets up and interlaces his fingers atop his head on Kiefer's orders.
The Patch Brigade makes its way through the basement towards the laundry room.
Kiefer and TerrorDad just stand there staring at each other for the few seconds when Kiefer would normally be reaching for his cuffs. But, of course, they're really only waiting for TerrorDad to get shot through the chest from behind. Which he does. The bullet looks like it barely misses Kiefer as it exits. TerrorDad looks at Kiefer in horrified confusion and coughs wetly a couple of times (translation: "Kids today, huh?") before collapsing on the floor. Yes, TerrorTeen killed him. Now that he was subdued and no longer dangerous. Fucking moron. Neither he nor Kiefer lowers his weapon, and now they're pointing them at each other. "It's okay, son," Kiefer says in a tone that very effectively hides exactly how pissed off he must be at this kid right now. "Put the gun down. It's over." There's a standoff, because of course Kiefer doesn't know how long it takes for TerrorTeen to let go of a gun once he's holding one. Soul Patch picks that moment to burst in, and together they convince TerrorTeen to disarm.
While Soul Patch cuffs the kid (I guess that immunity won't kick in until later), Kiefer checks for TerrorDad's pulse, which naturally isn't there. This is the second time a vital suspect has gotten shot out from under him in as many hours. Kiefer seriously needs to consider a new arrest protocol: "Drop the weapon! Put your hands on your head! Put on this bulletproof vest! Do it now!" Agent Castle, who I'm going to start calling Agent Discretion in a minute, brings TerrorMom on into the room with her dead husband and Oedipally freaking out son. Kiefer descends on her and demands to know where the MacGuffin is. "I don't know that," she says, "but I can give you an address where much of the work behind today's attacks was done." Kiefer's right up in her grill, saying that wasn't the deal. She insists that's all she knows, and rattles off the address. It would crack me up if it were the address of the TerrorDome, but nothing doing; "It was the last place I saw the men who were going to take possession of the MacGuffin." How long ago? "Yesterday." Kiefer dispatches advance teams to the house, with instructions that nobody goes in until they get there. Sure, he's always rushing other people, but he's got no problem making them wait around for him. Selfish. "What about these two?" Soul Patch says. "Until we know she's not lying," Kiefer says, "they come with us." Everyone heads out of the room, leaving TerrorDad to rot on the floor. Presumably with his cell phone that contains records of a shitload of calls to ImhoTerror, who has the MacGuffin, and whose location Lispy Skip could triangulate in ten seconds. Never mind that! Gotta go! No time! It's 4:15:02. Don't you love it when everything from the previous week's preview is taken care of in the first act? It makes me feel so unspoiled for the rest of the episode.