Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Franco-phile
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.14.2010
The Morning After Pill
Lemon: Good morning! Is that glitter? Sees the word "SLUT" written on Randy's face. Oh my God, did you go out last night after I won the sleeping contest?
Randy: I forgot to wash my face, didn't I? I meant to do it at the club, but when I got into the bathroom, everything started up again.
Lemon: I'm taking you to the Port Authority. Randy gasps in anticipation. To get on a bus home, not to meet people, God! Look, you've had your fun, you've seen New York, met some really... neat friends. Maybe that's enough for a first step, okay?
Randy: Yeah, okay, you're right. But I'm not going home until I give my cool cousin a makeover!
Lemon: Is it gonna be fierce?!
Randy: It would be if it was 2006!
Curses Usually Only Have Four Letters, Kenneth
Kenneth: The sun is up, and we are still in these people's home. God can see us now. We have to find that voicemail code.
Jack: It's on the dry erase board above the phone.
Kenneth: What?!
Jack: I saw it up there a few hours ago, but I wasn't done looking around. I'm ready to hear the message now.
Kenneth: Sir, I don't mean to swear, but I am irritated right now.
Play It Again, Jack
Voicemail Jack: Meine leibe, Greta, it's Klaus. Remember Mr. Kruger's German class? I took it to be with you. Sat behind you so I could talk to you and try to see the top of your underwear. You were Greta, and I was Klaus--
Female Voice: Jack, are you coming in?
Voicemail Jack: I'm on the phone! Get back in the hot tub. Ballard, don't let them put their tops back on! ... I'm going to say goodnight with help from the poet Rilke, because only German can capture what seeing you again has made me feel: "Aus unendlichen Sehnsüchten steigen/ endliche Taten wie schwache Fontänen." Auf wiedersehen, Greta.
Hit & Miss
Tracy: Hey baby, you new here?
Extra: Yeah, this is my first show.
Tracy: Before you worked here, were you an ass scientist? Because your ass... blah blah blah, you get the point. So what's your name?
Extra: Virginia.
Tracy: Virginia? But that's my daughter's name. Are you also someone's daughter?
Extra: Uh, yeah.
Tracy: Is every woman someone's daughter?
Extra: Of course.
Tracy: Uh oh!
Pillow Talk
James Franco: You can't just break up with me. I'll sue you for breach of contract. Argh, you're being such a non-pillow right now!