Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: N/A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Cross Your Heart. Hope to Die. Stick a Needle in Your Eye.
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.05.2011
JJ: Right and I realize inhalation must be part of the equation. Also, I spill the beans about Katie's pregnancy.
Joshua: And I'm like freaking out, but at least I'm done withdrawing from the trilsettum.
JJ: You still look like a junkie though.
Audience: Word.
Meanwhile, around town...
George: I go to refill Katie's prenatal vitamin prescription at her OB/GYN's office, yes, office, not a pharmacy.
Contrivance Fairy: [Beams with pride]
Dr. Klein: And I'm all like, what patient? Who? Never heard of her.
Recapper: Okay, and I understand it was Charlotte-as-Doctor-Klein who actually saw Katie and did the ultrasound and amnio. But, since Katie actually booked an appointment over the phone and had face time in the office, doesn't that mean that a nurse or secretary would have registered her with the practice and had a file on her? Is this your work too, Contrivance Fairy?
Continuity Demon: Do you not see the brand I left, right on its flank.
Tubey: Hey you, get off of my cloud... of sulphur.
Recapper: Never mind, let's move it along. At any rate, George gets ahold of the security tapes from Dr. Klein's parking garage and sees Charlotte from Lost knock Dr. Klein out and assume his form. Thinking quickly, he calls Katie and warns her that Joshua is probably not Joshua.
Meanwhile, at Xena's Facility...
Stephanie: Dr. King brings Jim, Daphne and me to Xena's Headquarters. Working as a team, we are able to get past guards and security measures and what have you. We're doing great until we run into Electra-Ben. He turns his powers on Jim, but Jim deflects them.
Jim: It's all very I am rubber; you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. But with lightning! We cruise on and Daphne's trying to listen to hear JJ's brain, but once we're in the elevator, we're gassed.
Daphne: Mom and I wake up in a cell, together. Xena has tranquilized me to weaken my powers, and Dad's somewhere else and has been given that Cynoxate stuff -- you know, his kryptonite. All she has to do to mom is hold JJ over her head. And to motivate JJ, Xena tells him that he'd better give her the answer she needs or she'll kill me. She cocks her gun and points it at me for emphasis.
Xena: And accuracy.
Daphne: Thank goodness I've been sedated.
Recapper: Me too. Um. I mean...carry on.
JJ: I figure out quickly enough that Xena's serum isn't working well enough because she uses synthetic adrenaline in it. We were scared to death -- on account of being in a plane that was on fire and crashing to its fiery doom -- so we were just little adrenaline factories and the adrenaline opened the receptors on our brain, which took full advantage of the smoking trilsettum.
Xena: I am gracious and grateful, and then order my guards to shoot the lot of them, ten seconds after I leave. I smile when I hear the gunshots, because I am a sexy bitch.
Dr. King: And me? I get to play the hero. Those three gunshots Xena heard, that was me, shooting her guards. Ta dah! Stephanie wants to zoop and find Jim, but I convince her to stop Helen before she uses this information to turn her 80 convicts into perma-supers.
Recapper: Humor me, here? How would it be to her advantage to have them be perma-supers. Wouldn't she have more control over them if they were dependent on her for their next dose?
Writers: [Crickets]
Recapper: As I thought. Okay. Please continue, Dr. King.
Dr. King: So I go and free Jim, but I really am hung up on Stephanie, so I shoot him a few times. See, I somehow know he's been dosed with kryptonite and is not nearly as invulnerable. Once I see him bleed, I'm so satisfied with myself that I don't shoot another bullet in his head at point blank range.
Recapper: Pride goeth before a fall.
King: Word up. Anyhow, I go find Stephanie and the kids. Steph was unable to get to Xena before she took a chopper to Convict-ville. I'm not really clear on these locations. But son of a bitch, as soon as I tell Stephanie that Jim is dead, he pops out of nowhere and confronts me.
Daphne: I start trying to put the whammy on Dr. King, but he's able to block me.
Jim: So I attack Dr. King and I'll be damned if the old dude isn't beating the stuffing out of me.
Dr. King: You just saw my inject more trilsettum into myself. What did you think I was doing?
JJ: Because I realize the rest of these people are idiots, I say, right out loud, that mom should zoop to her lab and get the antidote.