Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 329 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Bucky the Snowman
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 2002.04.14
Bogota. Nope. Nothing funny to say. Except, of course, how every time I type "Bogota," I just think of "boogers." Hee. Boogers are funny. Ahem. In a scene right out of Hannibal, Vaughn's hanging out with a guy who's wheezing so loud that it sounds like he's got a busted accordion for a lung. The lights are low, so it's difficult to see this guy's face, but what glimpses we're afforded seem to indicate that he's been sliced and diced more than a sheaf of bok choy at a Chinese restaurant.
Borrowing a voice from Marlon Brando in The Godfather, Scary Scar Man informs Vaughn that he never met The Snowman, but that his moniker comes from his method of killing. He prefers an ice pick. See? "Ice"? "Snow"? "SNOWMAN"? Get it? Wheeze wheeze wheeze, Scar Boy tells his sad mutilation stories. WhatEVER. Vaughn presses Scar Boy for leads on Snowman's whereabouts. Scar Boy pulls open a secret passageway and announces that, yes, he has leads, and he'll even contact them himself. WHATEVER. Why in the hell did Vaughn have to go all the way to frickin' Bogota just to hear that Scar Boy has leads and WILL CONTACT THEM HIMSELF? Couldn't they just have done that over the damn phone? Gah. Scar Boy dismisses Vaughn with one request: when they find The Snowman, make him suffer.
Dudes, at this point, if I find J.J. Abrams, I'm gonna make HIM suffer. Seriously. This entire scene was just a waste of tape. Lord almighty. Where's that beer, Willage? I'm thirsty over here.
Ahhh. Amstel Light. God love ya.
Back from the break, we're in Sloane's office and he's sweet-talking on the phone to his almost-dead wife. It's moments like these that are supposed to make us care deeply for Sloane, a man who kills unreservedly one moment, and tells his almost-dead wife he loves her the next. Awww. The conflicted life of a not-so-cold-blooded killer.
Sloane hangs up and Spy Daddy enters and wants to talk about Bunny. Sloane states that he thinks Bunny's hiding something. So do we all, Uncle Arvin. Spy Daddy says that Sloane should consider not killing Bunny because, if he is in cahoots with the Russians, he could very well lead them directly to Kasineau. Spy Daddy blathers on and on about the Calder connection, for those of us in the audience WHO DON'T HAVE AN OPERATIONAL TELEVISION SET.