Episode Report Card Sara M: F | 2 USERS: F YOU GRADE IT Songs In The Key Of Terrible
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.13.2005
RevCam tells Ruthie that she sure isn't acting like today is Valentine's Day, what with her totally unromantic lecturing of her father. I'm confused, because this show is usually trying to tell me that nagging and lecturing loved ones is a sign of a functional and loving family unit, right? Ruthie says whatever, and SamVid shush her. Ruthie tells the twins they can drop the whole not wanting to wake up Annie thing, because she's already awake. Then she wishes them an insincere "happy birthday," and says her present to them is that she will clean their room for a week. The twins act way too excited about this crappy present that Ruthie obviously just made up because she forget to get them anything.
Annie bounds downstairs and asks what's going on. What's not going on is that leopard-print silk-esque pajama set she's wearing. She could have draped a live leopard with a bloody zebra leg dangling from its mouth across her shoulders, and that would have been sexier than this. "Happy Valentine's Day!" RevCam and the twins shout to her. She wishes the twins a happy birthday, and offers to make them pancakes. RevCam says they were actually going to make her pancakes in bed. "No bacon," Annie says, instead of "thank you." RevCam and Annie kiss, causing Ruthie to roll her eyes and walk out of the house. Annie goes back upstairs to wait for her pancakes. She should really stay down there and monitor RevCam and the twins' progress. Who knows what could result from the unsupervised combination of a man who can't see red socks and boys who eat ice cream sandwich wrappers.
For example, RevCam could start singing "Love is Sweeping the Country," written by George and Ira Gershwin, out of nowhere as he gathers pancake-making supplies. In related news, people in China were surprised to find the corpses of George and Ira Gershwin suddenly in their country, after both bodies spun in their graves at such speed that they actually drilled themselves through the center of the Earth. SamVid join in on the musical merriment, singing about "all the sexes from Maine to Texas," and I want to die. Suddenly, we're in Lucy and Kevin's room, where he sing-talks one line. Then we go back to the kitchen for a while, then to Annie, who sits on her bed and sings a line. And then we cut to Ruthie, who, in the space of two minutes, has gotten to school. She has also become an old French woman, based on her breathy delivery of her lines that sound like they're in French instead of English. So that was weird. And then we're back in the kitchen, where RevCam stirs pancake batter and finishes the song. Right as we're fading to the theme song, we see him lift up a bottle of a dark-colored liquid to pour it into the pancake batter. I hope that's poison.