Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blue Swayed Crews
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.20.2004
Shran McCain doesn't believe he's got the water polos to make good on his threat, and orders his crew to take him into the anomaly. Quantum calls to T'Pol, and she pushes some buttons. Shran McCain stares at Quantum and tries to furrow out what he's up to. He then calls down to his cargo bay for a report. The report comes back that the weapon has been activated and they can't shut it down. Quantum tips his chin and raises his eyebrows at this news. It's welcome change from his usual. "I'd get rid of it while you still can," Quantum suggests helpfully. T'Pol says that they have less than thirty seconds to shit or get off the pot. "Shran?" Quantum says. "Twenty seconds," T'Pol counts. Shran McCain struggles and then finally orders the cargo jettisoned. The weapon falls from the Andorian ship like a round piece of rabbit turd. I guess they decided to shit. "Six seconds," T'Pol says, and Quantum orders May-whether to get them out of there. Just before the weapon explodes you can hear it scream out, "And we're going to Earth! And Vulcan! And Andoria! And after that we're going to Kronos to take back the Klingon High Council -- yeeeaaargh!" You had to listen really hard. The Andorian ship (like the voters) is caught in the shock. Enterprise shakes a bit but sustains no damage. Reed reports that the Andorian ship's hull is intact but they took on significant damage to their engines and power systems. Quantum orders Hoshi to open a channel to Shran McCain and asks if he needs their assistance.
Time has passed, and Quantum logs that Shran McCain "graciously declined [their] offer of help" and preferred to "limp away" on auxiliary power.
Stella Cartography. This is the part I didn't predict. Quantum steps in, and Hoshi tells him that just before they went to warp they received a transmission from the Andorians. T'Pol takes up the thread of explanation: "It wasn't on one of their normal comm frequencies; it was encrypted to look like subspace interference." On the screen, schematics, scans, and general FAQs about the weapon materialize. "Apparently, they had time to take some detailed scans while it was aboard their ship," Hoshi explains. "Judging from the clandestine nature of the transmission I'd guess that whoever sent this didn't want to be discovered," T'Pol adds. "Get it to Starfleet Command right away," Quantum orders somewhat cheesily. Hoshi trots off. Does anyone else feel that Starfleet Command is full of a bunch of dolts who won't have the slightest clue what to do with the information? Or that Admiral Forrest will suppress it. Because he's evil. Quantum straightens up and says to T'Pol, "Why don't you and Trip join me for dinner tonight? I have some Andorian ale you might like to try." Nice that he waited until Hoshi was gone before he proffered the invite. I mean, according to Shran McCain, he donated several bottles to the Enterprise Drunkenness Cause -- why couldn't Quantum invite Hoshi, May-hew, and Reed along with his favored two? Honestly, I think Reed did a lot more than Trip in this ep and is far more deserving of crapping blue the next morning.