Episode Report Card Strega: B- | 715 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Let Baltar Be Baltar
By Strega | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2005.03.18
It's raining on Caprica, but what else is new? Oh, and it's Day 47. Through binoculars we see... is that Oz? Well, some buildings, anyway. It turns out that Helo and Boomer are looking at the city of Delphi. I wish Starbuck were here to talk about the unconvincing horizon. Helo says, "All we have to do is wait until dark, infiltrate the most heavily fortified military hub on this planet, hope the Cylons haven't completely wasted the spaceport, steal a ship, locate Galactica, and fly to her without getting shot to hell." Excellent. Boomer asks if Helo's hungry. He's not, but he does comment on Boomer's restored appetite. Helo muses about the pair of Sixes they've seen with the Cylons. He says, "I can't fathom why anybody would wanna help the toasters. And they just happened to be twins? That's too weird." Ha! Helo wonders if the Cylons are cloning humans, and speculates along those lines. I love that Helo's always trying to figure things out, and never quite getting there. It's smart writing. And also funny. Boomer makes interested noises as Helo theorizes, "They had these replicated humans infiltrating the colonies laying the groundwork for a surprise attack." Boomer goes with it, and suggests that if that's the case, the clones are "capable of complex emotions. Maybe even love." She says that the clones might have been taught to believe in the Cylon goals, so they're just misguided. Helo interrupts, "Whatever they are, they're not human. No human could do the things that they've done -- killed billions of innocent people." Oh, Helo. So naive. He says that whether they're clones or robots, they're all Cylons. Boomer tries to mope.
Starbuck and Apollo have hauled Briefcase Guy into a dark little room for questioning. See, this is what the room they interrogated Leoben in should have looked like! Starbuck wonders why Briefcase Guy had a copy of the itinerary with all of the Prez's appearances circled. Briefcase says that it isn't his. Apollo slams Briefcase Guy's, er, briefcase on the table and describes its features: "A false bottom, with anechoic coating to absorb x-rays?" He waves the gun around and shouts, "Ceramic stealth gun!" Briefcase Guy stammers that he had the gun because he carries a lot of money around. Apollo reminds us that money is worthless now, and screams, "Your friend Zarek pointed that out!" He hurls the briefcase across the room. Which seems like as good a time as any to admit that Briefcase Guy's name is Valance. Valance insists that he doesn't know Zarek. Starbuck tears some of the money in half as she says that Goatee Guy already told them everything. Valance hesitates, but then declares that Starbuck's bluffing. Apollo waggles the gun around and says, "This isn't a trial. This is just you and us in this room." Valance watches Apollo load the gun as Starbuck adds, "We're living in a whole new world. There's no due process. This is your courtroom." Apollo holds the loaded gun and concludes, "And that would make us your executioners." It's amazing they can do all these different jobs and still find time to belabor the obvious. Starbuck says that if he doesn't cooperate, they'll toss him out an airlock. "'Cause that's what we do to traitors." She winks, and see, it's not as cute as it looked in the credits. Valance shakily looks at them both, but finally insists, "I just came over here for the booze and the food, that's it." Apollo grabs Valance and shakes him as he shouts, "Frack you!" Hee.