Episode Report Card Deborah: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT God Told Me To
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2003
He wonders what she means by "ask." Joan: "Well, 'want' or...'require.'" Father Mallory confidently says, "God doesn't ask his children to do evil." Joan: "Well, what about the whole Inquisition/torture business?" Father Mallory give a short little sigh and comments, "Well, you really are a lot like your mother." Heh. He says, "I would explain the Inquisition as a case of men being duped by the adversary..." Joan interrupts, pointing her finger at him, "The adversary! Ha! Like Satan." The priest replies, "I realize it sounds melodramatic, but yes." Joan: "So the devil really exists?" Father Mallory: "Well, one of his best tricks is to get people to believe he doesn't exist. Or, to take on the guise of our Lord." That disturbs Joan: "The Devil imitates God?" Father Mallory: "In essence." Joan: "Is he any good?" The priest says, "Very good. In fact, in the Book of Revelations [sic] it tells us that when the Antichrist first appears, even the most godly may be fooled." Joan laughs and relaxes a little, saying, "Yeah, like when you first hear Dave Matthews and you think he's good, but...he's not." Hee! Father Mallory doesn't know who Dave Matthews is.
Joan's attention is grabbed by her mother's elated voice across the room: "You sold it?" Adam tells her, "Five hundred dollars." Helen says, "Adam! That's amazing." They're jumping around, and Joan wanders over, saying, "This is a creepy development." Helen tells her that Adam sold his piece. Helen zips off: "I'm going to go rub Price's nose in this!" Adam asks Joan not to get mad, but indicates an old lady browsing nearby who offered him money. Joan takes the cheque, and opens her mouth and eyes wide when she sees the amount. Adam says, "I know, I'm sorry, but I'll make you another one, okay?" Helen motions to Adam and tells him to bring his check over to a slightly chagrined-looking Vice-Principal. Joan stands there with her mouth hanging slightly open, and then catches Security Guard God looking at her with disapproval from the back of the room. That sort of creeped me out, because I don't think we've seen an instance since the first episode where God was just watching Joan and not talking to her. And when that happened, it was Cute Guy God, and she didn't believe he was God yet. I don't think there have been any other such instances, but if I'm wrong, I'm sure someone's posting about in the forums at this very moment. As Joan turns around to look at Adam's sculpture and ponder her options, we hear the lyrics, "Don't nobody know my troubles with God." Man, if you want to have a show that provides millions of thematic soundtrack options, do a show about God. I kinda envy the music director on this show.
Kevin and Luke are in a hobby shop together. Luke is concerned about whether a particular magnet is powerful enough for his needs. While he's rambling on about rail guns and compulsators, Kevin's filling his pockets with small bottles of paint for his models. Luke's oblivious. Kevin barks, "Give me the magnet!" Luke hands it over, saying, "Wow. Mr. Big Bucks has a job and wants to show off. Thanks." Kevin pockets the magnet and grabs one more bottle of paint. Luke's confused: "What are you doing?" Kevin backs up toward the counter and says, "It's called the wheelchair discount." Kevin puts the single bottle on the counter with a big fake smile. The old guy running the register asks if that's all. Kevin says yeah. Luke: "Kev..." Kevin: "What? Shut up." Luke: "Give me the magnet." He says it quietly, but just loud enough for the shopkeeper to hear. Kevin, noticing that the guy has heard, pulls it out and hands it to Luke, saying, "Fine. Be jelly. I'm just trying to help you out here." The shopkeeper seems confused about what's going on and what to do about it. Luke: "Be that as it may..." Kevin asks the shopkeeper defiantly: "You want me to empty out my pockets or anything?" The shopkeeper says it's okay. Kevin adds, "'Cause sometimes my chair sets off the alarm." The shopkeeper tells him the tally for the paint, and Kevin hands him a bill. While the guy gets his change, Kevin mutters to Luke, "See? It's like being invisible. Isn't that one of those geek powers you always wish for?" Luke looks ashamed and uncomfortable; he says nothing. He asks the shopkeeper if that's the strongest magnet he's got. The guy says it is, and that it's $6.49. As Luke gets his wallet out, Kevin says, "That's $6.49 you could have saved." He wheels toward the door. Luke hands the guy a bill and says quietly, "Keep the change." Incredulous, he asks: "Out of a twenty?" Kevin hears this and turns and looks at Luke. Luke just gives him a sidelong glance. Michael Welch could do "shifty" really well if he decided to. Kevin, resigned, wheels back to the counter and puts the four bottles of paint he didn't pay for on the counter. Nobody says anything until Kevin's left. The shopkeeper is still holding Luke's money in mid-air. Luke apologizes and says he'll pay for the paint. As the shopkeeper bags everything, he remarks, "Poor guy, right? I mean, he's got it tough, poor bastard." Luke gets mad: "Okay. See, what you're, what you're doing, right there? You might as well spit on him. It even makes me want to steal from you." He smacks the counter lightly a couple of times in frustration. "I know you're trying to be a nice guy here but still, I'd like to smash your face." He snatches the bag and marches out. Great work by both boys, but especially Michael Welch.