Episode Report Card DeAnn Welker: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Two Twits Are Better Than One
By DeAnn Welker | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 08.18.2011
Deena and Erica are making out and having fun, but Deena freaks out because this is not who she is since she likes penis. So she releases Erica back to Vinny.
The next morning, Snooki's crying, asking why Sitch would do this to her. Ron sits down and tries to talk to Snooki, who tells him that what really happened -- and it was more than two months ago -- was that Unit and Ryder (real names, you think?) hooked up so Sitch wanted to hook up with her. She said no, so he went out to the balcony. That's it. Ron says he doesn't know who to believe, because she'd lie to protect her relationship and he'd lie to protect himself, so the only people who know are the two people who were there. (And, you know, maybe Unit and Ryder. Let's call them.) Ron tells Snooki that whatever happened, she needs to woman up and tell Jionni the whole thing so he doesn't find out by watching it on TV. She says nothing happened, and it's done. DONE. Between her and Sitch.
Ron's done with Snooki, so now Sitch is talking to him, telling him he's disappointed he told people. Ron's not having it since Sitch has always stirred shit up with him and Sam. Sitch tells Ron he's sincere, but Ron says bringing home different girls isn't sincere. Ron says he doesn't know what Sitch's intentions are, and it's impossible to tell with him. JWOWW and Ron talk to Sitch, who asks if they don't believe him. They basically say they do, but that he shouldn't have told Ron? I don't understand their logic. About this time, Brittany finally wanders out of Sitch's room. He forgot her, apparently, but he heads back to cuddle with her at last. He says the truth will set Snooki free.
JWOWW tells Snooki she did nothing wrong, and Sitch is just trying to ruin things with her and Jionni, but he loves her and will believe her over Sitch talking shit. They hug on the couch, while Sitch cuddles with Brittany in the bed. I wonder why he's bothering with Snooki when someone as adorable as Brittany likes him. And, let's be honest, she also seems light-years smarter and more fun than Snooki, too. Also: Sam and Ron go to bed together. Vinny and Erica sleep together. Pauly sleeps alone. He's the only one making the proper use of his twin bed, if you ask me.
Next week: Snooki's not losing Jionni over this, so she knows she has to tell him what's going on. There's huge drama with Deena being a cock-blocker. And then there's even bigger drama in the form of Sitch and Ron fighting.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, hopes this season doesn't hurt Italy's tourism industry. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.