Episode Report Card Pamie: A- | 97 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT How To Lose A Mom In Ten Days
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 17 | Aired on 2005.03.08
Luke's complaining about the state of Lorelai's refrigerator -- that it holds nothing but massive quantities of calories. "How are you not four hundred pounds?" he asks. Lorelai answers: "Scientists call it 'The Lorelai Effect.'" He asks whom she's calling. Lorelai is checking to see if Rory left a message. Luke brings over two bowls for the ice cream. "Who's washing those?" she asks. Luke puts the bowls back and grabs two spoons. Lorelai asks if they're out of plastic. Luke goes back to grab two plastic spoons. Lorelai then tells him they'll need four because the plastic ones break. Luke then fetches Lorelai her slippers, chases his tail for fifteen minutes, and pees on the rug. Lorelai tries to explain to Luke that Rory's on a date with a boy who's not her boyfriend because college means dating whoever is standing in front of you at the time. Luke thinks that's what kids are supposed to do, but Lorelai thinks that's not who Rory is. She says she can't talk to Rory about it because she is worried about her Mom status. I suppose with her current relationship with Emily, she'd hate to do something that would push Rory away from her, by disagreeing with the way she's running her life. Luke thinks Lorelai's still the mother, and should do some mothering when Rory needs a little social guidance. Lord knows Rory hasn't dealt much with real people in her life. And by that I mean "mean" people, who didn't grow up with the rose-colored glasses of Stars Hollow. Mean Yale people with sexually transmitted diseases, who probably throw rainbow parties in their parents' guesthouses. I mean...College is great! High school is fun! Huzzah! Naked Kirk wanders through the house, carrying his blankie. Lorelai realizes that they probably didn't lock the front door. Luke goes off to fetch Kirk.
Luke's. Emily storms in, furious. I do mean furious. She asks what's wrong with Luke, "besides the obvious lack of fashion sense." Says the woman in a pink speckled blazer. Emily can't understand how stupid Luke would have to be not to get back together with Lorelai, after she specifically told him how and why he should do exactly what she says. Luke can't get a word in edgewise as Emily is insulting him, yelling at him at his place of business, telling him exactly what she thinks about him. There's a suggestion box, Emily. It's a nicer way to offer criticism of someone when you're both in public. Also, it's not Luke's job to live his life the way you tell him to, particularly when you think he doesn't live his life correctly, or how you'd live it, or up to some potential you think he can never reach. And it seems that everybody is happy with Luke but you and your husband, so maybe it'd be better if you didn't talk to Luke at all anymore, or visit his place of work. That might make you happier, since it seemed to be a big inconvenience for you to tell him what to do in the first place. Luke tries to tell Emily he's in the middle of fixing a toaster, but Emily screams that she doesn't care what he's in the middle of, because she has decided this is the time she's going to tell him how she feels about him, and what she thinks he should and shouldn't be doing. She blames Luke for tearing apart her family, for making her life miserable. Luke doesn't know how to keep Emily from assaulting him with insults, so he calls Lorelai using the number one key on his touchpad.