Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiefer's Ex vs. World War III
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.15.2007
Kiefer tells Chloe to get him the schematics for the nukes so he'll know what to pull out. Chloe says she has no way to do that, until she hits on the idea of getting the files off of Morris's hard drive. Apparently, during one of the recent episodes in which he had hardly any lines, he had to file a DOD report on his earlier nuke-hacking work. Glancing over toward the briefing (where Morris is, like everyone else, standing enraptured by Buchanan's ramblings about how awesome they all are), Chloe steps behind Morris's computer and makes ready to send the schematics to Kiefer's cell phone. But first they have to upload. There's all manner of status-bar-related tension as Kiefer stresses at Chloe and she tries to keep him cool through the vital 20%, 50%, and 60% stages. Then, at about 70%, the briefing breaks up, and everyone starts heading back to their desks, including Morris. Chloe says she has to log off, but Kiefer makes her hang on as Morris keeps ambling pleasantly back to his desk. Finally the status bar finishes filling up and Kiefer's phone chirps. "I got it," he says, and hangs up. It's 11:11:14. I assume that during the commercials he doesn't call her right back and ask her to resend it as a .pdf.
11:15:27. Back in the Oval Office, Wayne picks up a portrait of his late brother and admires it for a moment. Which reminds me that I should mention something that I really haven't brought up much this season: David Palmer was kind of an idiot. Wayne's reverie is interrupted when his secretary buzzes in on the speakerphone to say that the Veep is there to see him. Wayne stands behind the desk for a moment, letting the Veep get a load of what an impressive spectacle he makes in his natural habitat, then invites the Veep to sit down with him. He starts by thanking the Veep for acting like such an insane mofo earlier, saying that while nuking Mideastia would have been a horrible mistake, it put Wayne in the position to make his mad bluff and to force the country to share what they knew.
And now that that's out of the way, Wayne wants to break up. He says that their partnership is more to "strengthen the ticket" than any kind of indication that they agree on a single thing in the entire world. (by the way, in '08, I'm looking forward to "strong tickets" like Obama/Giuliani and McCain/Clinton). Wayne doesn't think that they can work together any more, and he wants the Veep to resign. "How dare you?" the Veep rumbles angrily, saying Wayne doesn't have any right to fire him. Wayne says this isn't about the Constitution, but what's best for the country, which is an argument that I'm sure Kiefer would support wholeheartedly. Wayne says he can't lead with the Veep constantly undermining him. The Veep gets to his feet and growls, "Mr. President, I refuse. Good night." Wayne stops him on his way to the door and brings up the recording of him conspiring with Lisa to commit perjury. The Veep blinks, his offended air of righteous indignation cracking visibly. Wayne figures that the Veep would rather resign than be humiliated. "Is resorting to blackmail your idea of effective leadership?" the Veep last-gasps, and Wayne actually has the balls to credit the Veep with teaching him the effectiveness of "brute force." He gives the Veep a week or so to resign and shows him out, insolently slamming the door after him. I don't see Wayne smirking at his brother's portrait now. Maybe, for moments like this, he should have a picture of Sherry.