In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. Kiefer finds out what the Chinese want in exchange for Audrey: a piece of one of the suitcase nukes that will somehow give the Chinese full access to all Russian weapons systems. Just go with it, okay? Kiefer does, reluctantly, and he enlists Chloe's aid in downloading the necessary schematics from Morris's computer. When Morris busts her, he then forces her to tell Buchanan, who has Doyle take Kiefer down before he can get away with the circuit board. Now that the sneakiness option is off the table, Kiefer appeals directly to Wayne to let him just pretend he's going through with the exchange in order to get Audrey freed. Of course, Kiefer promises to destroy the chip (and, if necessary, himself) rather than let it fall into Chinese hands. That, plus a patriotic little guilt trip, helps Kiefer convince Wayne to sign off on the faux trade, and Kiefer's got CTU support again, complete with a ride to the drop point from Doyle. After blackmailing the Veep into writing a resignation letter, Wayne gives a post-crisis press conference and ends up having a catastrophic brainfart on live TV. That means the Veep is back in charge, and the first thing he does is pull the plug on Kiefer's operation. Now, you and I both know that Kiefer isn't going to be down with any such plug-pulling, so instead of going quietly when Buchanan tells Doyle to bring him in, Kiefer leaves Doyle stranded by the side of the road. But won't Audrey be happy to see him? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Fayed's former safe house is now crawling with CTU agents, complete with a helicopter hovering overhead. Kiefer is being attended to by yet another CTU medic, who under the circumstances is just giving him a shot for the pain instead of making him go to the hospital. Even though as far as the medic knows, Kiefer didn't just get a call from a Chinese guy whoâs holding Audrey hostage and thus the "circumstances" are over. Doyle comes over and says that now that CTU has found the bombs, the Marines are going to take things from here, securing the bombs for transport to a NEST facility. As part of my commitment to you, I even looked up "NEST" and found out that it stands for Nuclear Emergency Support Team. Once I found out what they do, I started to wonder where the hell they've been all day, but the internet is no help there, I'm afraid. Lingering suspiciously to the evidence table, Kiefer sneaks a cell phone into his pocket and is surprised when he turns to find that Doyle is still standing there. Fortunately, all Doyle wants is to tell Kiefer how awesome he is. Kiefer graciously (for him) accepts the compliment and wanders off to be alone. Once he's in a relatively private alley, he crouches down with his purloined cell phone and starts dialing. I'd wonder how he memorized the number Cheng gave him, but considering how many times it's already been used this season, I've practically memorized it myself.
At the empty office building where Audrey's being held by the Chinese, she sits on the floor huddled in a blanket, which, combined with the lamentable state of her hair, makes her look like she was just fished out of some harbor. Cheng's cell phone rings. Kiefer wants to talk to Audrey, but Cheng would rather explain how Audrey ended up in this situation in the first place. He exposits that she came to Beijing to find Kiefer, and that since Kiefer was so "uncooperative," Cheng figured they could use Audrey as leverage someday. "And that day is here," Cheng says brightly. Okay, how long ago did the Chinese know that? Did they fly Audrey in from Beijing as soon as they found out about the nukes? Has she been in the U.S. ever since the Chinese agreed to return Kiefer? Or did they in fact get transported back in the same plane, separated by the same kind of impenetrable curtain that used to separate First Class and Coach? None of these answers are forthcoming for now.
Kiefer's only too happy to offer to return to Chinese custody if they'll release Audrey, but Cheng's been there and done that. What he really wants is a piece of one of those Russian suitcase nukes. Apparently, there's a part of the triggering mechanism that contains an algorithm that would give the Chinese full access to all Russian defense technology. Really? I don't understand the first thing about algorithms, and even if I did, we don't have much choice but to go along with Cheng's assertion. Everybody else will, and in any case we don't have an episode otherwise (not that that would be an entirely bad thing). At least they're not trying to make a case for some kind of highly classified multiplication table. Long story short: Audrey for the component, or else Cheng will kill her. Kiefer puts up a few weak objections -- it's too hard, it's too dangerous, it'll start World War III, woe is me -- but Cheng isn't budging. Kiefer wants to talk to Audrey before agreeing, and this time Cheng consents. He offers Audrey the phone and tells her to talk to Kiefer. Kim Raver does this brilliant thing where she reaches for the phone, then draws her hand back to make sure Cheng isn't going to bite it off before finally taking the handset. It goes by in a flash, and it shows once again how completely overqualified she is for this gig. Although Audrey claims to Kiefer that they haven't hurt her, she clearly is deathly afraid of Cheng. You can tell by the way she flinches away from him as he leans way down into her grill. She mutters an apology to Cheng without even knowing what for. Kiefer misinterprets her words and tells her not to be sorry. He promises to get her out of there. Cheng grabs the phone back, and Audrey reacts like she's been struck. She is clearly broken in some way. Cheng tells Kiefer that he's got an hour to get ready for the exchange. Kiefer says that's not enough time, but of course Cheng has already hung up. At 11:06:02, Kiefer sneaks a peek around the corner onto the loading dock, where a whole platoon of armed Marines is just arriving. He thinks, Dammit, I just shot my way into there fifteen minutes ago, and now I have to do it again?
Wayne's dead! No, actually, it just looks that way as he sits behind his desk with his eyes closed and his head resting against the back of his chair. Still, Tom isn't overly alarmed as he comes in and again advises Wayne to go back to Medical. Wayne's afraid that that'll just give the Veep a fresh opening. Tom assures him that isn't something to worry about, which just gets Wayne curious all over again about what kind of leverage Tom has. Tom forgets all about his high-minded inform/protect mission statement and says it's a recording of Lisa and the Veep conspiring to commit perjury. "I'd love to hear that as soon as possible," Wayne smirks. First, he's going to hear something even better, which is Karen rushing in to report that the nukes have been recovered and Fayed and his men are dead. Wayne's quite pleased to hear the news. I bet he wouldn't be so happy if he knew that he's finding out after the Chinese did. Wayne can't wait to break the news to the American people. Karen's already on her way to summon the press corps to the Bunker, but Wayne says it's time to go back upstairs and start using that fancy Oval Office set again. I should note that any lingering ill effects from Wayne's dangerous blood-pressure dip last hour seem to have disappeared. Which isn't surprising, considering how quickly people heal on this show. In addition to the many injuries Kiefer has recovered from today, Milo and Morris at CTU seem to be 100% again. In fact, I remain convinced that if Gredenko had managed to survive his blood loss, he would have grown a new arm by now.
At 11:08:16, Buchanan is briefing his troops on the CTU floor. He announces that Morris is going to be coordinating the transfer of the nukes from there, and Chloe smiles proudly at her boyfriend. Buchanan is just getting to the part about how proud he is of everyone when Chloe's cell phone starts buzzing. Just as well, since praise makes her uncomfortable anyway. She separates herself from the group to answer it and finds Kiefer on the other end. He doesn't have time for her congratulations, getting right to the point. As he nabs a miniature tool kit from the same evidence table where he got the cell phone, he says that Audrey's still alive; in fact, he just talked to her. Chloe wants to tell Buchanan right away. Kiefer's way of saying that it's a little more complicated than that is to disagree: "He'll never go along with it," Kiefer says. "Go along...with...what?" Chloe asks, already knowing she's going to hate this. Kiefer tells Chloe what Cheng wants and what it does, and then he tells her that she's going to have to help him get it. Chloe's worrying about creating "an international situation, big time," so Kiefer assures her that he's got no intention of handing the component over to the Chinese; he just wants to wave it around at them until they release Audrey. I don't see why he can't just steal another cell phone (or a calculator, or a garage door remote, or a digital watch), crack it open, and show that circuit board to the Chinese, unless they know exactly what they're looking for, in which case why don't they just build their own?
Kiefer tells Chloe to get him the schematics for the nukes so he'll know what to pull out. Chloe says she has no way to do that, until she hits on the idea of getting the files off of Morris's hard drive. Apparently, during one of the recent episodes in which he had hardly any lines, he had to file a DOD report on his earlier nuke-hacking work. Glancing over toward the briefing (where Morris is, like everyone else, standing enraptured by Buchanan's ramblings about how awesome they all are), Chloe steps behind Morris's computer and makes ready to send the schematics to Kiefer's cell phone. But first they have to upload. There's all manner of status-bar-related tension as Kiefer stresses at Chloe and she tries to keep him cool through the vital 20%, 50%, and 60% stages. Then, at about 70%, the briefing breaks up, and everyone starts heading back to their desks, including Morris. Chloe says she has to log off, but Kiefer makes her hang on as Morris keeps ambling pleasantly back to his desk. Finally the status bar finishes filling up and Kiefer's phone chirps. "I got it," he says, and hangs up. It's 11:11:14. I assume that during the commercials he doesn't call her right back and ask her to resend it as a .pdf.
11:15:27. Back in the Oval Office, Wayne picks up a portrait of his late brother and admires it for a moment. Which reminds me that I should mention something that I really haven't brought up much this season: David Palmer was kind of an idiot. Wayne's reverie is interrupted when his secretary buzzes in on the speakerphone to say that the Veep is there to see him. Wayne stands behind the desk for a moment, letting the Veep get a load of what an impressive spectacle he makes in his natural habitat, then invites the Veep to sit down with him. He starts by thanking the Veep for acting like such an insane mofo earlier, saying that while nuking Mideastia would have been a horrible mistake, it put Wayne in the position to make his mad bluff and to force the country to share what they knew.
And now that that's out of the way, Wayne wants to break up. He says that their partnership is more to "strengthen the ticket" than any kind of indication that they agree on a single thing in the entire world. (by the way, in '08, I'm looking forward to "strong tickets" like Obama/Giuliani and McCain/Clinton). Wayne doesn't think that they can work together any more, and he wants the Veep to resign. "How dare you?" the Veep rumbles angrily, saying Wayne doesn't have any right to fire him. Wayne says this isn't about the Constitution, but what's best for the country, which is an argument that I'm sure Kiefer would support wholeheartedly. Wayne says he can't lead with the Veep constantly undermining him. The Veep gets to his feet and growls, "Mr. President, I refuse. Good night." Wayne stops him on his way to the door and brings up the recording of him conspiring with Lisa to commit perjury. The Veep blinks, his offended air of righteous indignation cracking visibly. Wayne figures that the Veep would rather resign than be humiliated. "Is resorting to blackmail your idea of effective leadership?" the Veep last-gasps, and Wayne actually has the balls to credit the Veep with teaching him the effectiveness of "brute force." He gives the Veep a week or so to resign and shows him out, insolently slamming the door after him. I don't see Wayne smirking at his brother's portrait now. Maybe, for moments like this, he should have a picture of Sherry.
Back at CTU, Morris is busy on the phone getting things set up for the nuke transport. Chloe chimes in with some technobabble advice, and Morris says he's already on it. Then he notices something on his screen that makes his eyebrows go all wonky. "I think someone's hacked into my system," he says. Chloe asks if he's sure, and he says that he installed some spyware on his computer to protect himself after what happened to Nadia. Which, to be fair, Chloe probably would have noticed if she hadn't been in such a rush. It's only a matter of seconds before Morris figures out that somebody downloaded the suitcase nuke schematics from his hard drive about ten minutes ago. Meanwhile, Mary-Lynn Rajskub's face is doing things I haven't seen it do since she was on Mr. Show. Morris picks up his phone to call Security, and she jumps up to stop him. She confesses to downloading the files. And then she tries to leave. Morris gently reaches for her arm and asks, "Why would you do that?" Chloe says that she'll explain later, and she galumphs off at 11:20:27. Morris follows her all the way back to her desk -- her other desk, perhaps I should say -- and suggests she explain it now. Chloe says it was for Jack. Like Morris said the first time we met him, he should have known.
Chloe explains about Audrey and the Chinese and the nuke component and so forth. Morris reminds Chloe that they both know that the Russians have been trying to keep that technology away from the Chinese for years and aren't going to be happy when they find out that a U.S. agent handed it over. If that happens, can't they just have Martha Logan call Anya Suvarov and make it all better? In any case, Chloe insists that it won't come to that, because Kiefer promised. Morris isn't willing to let it drop. He says that it's bad enough that he, Morris, enabled the nukes to potentially kill tens of thousands of people; now he can't be involved in something that might start a war. Chloe says that he's not involved, but Morris says that he is, now that she's told him. She fails to make the point that she only told Morris because he made her. He basically gives her an ultimatum: tell Buchanan now, or he will. She caves and heads up the stairs to Buchanan's office like she's going to her death. I don't know why she's so worried; even when she gets fired, all it means is that she works a fourteen-hour day instead of twenty-four.
Buchanan is on the phone with the Exposition Call Center in Bangalore when Chloe appears outside the door, and he waves her inside. After he hangs up, he can see from her face that she's way more bunchy inside even than usual. "Iâm sorry, there's something you need to know," she says. Buchanan looks very worried indeed. Unfortunately, we won't get to see the palpable relief on his face when Chloe's revelation turns out not to be personal.
Back at the warehouse with the nukes, Kiefer is somehow sneaking inside by climbing down from the roof. It's like he makes things harder for himself on purpose sometimes. Once he gets down to the floor, he scopes out the situation. The nukes are still on the table where he found them, in a locked and caged area that's being guarded by two armed Marines who haven't noticed his arrival. Unfortunately, Fayed's grisly dangling corpse with the hand palm-out at neck level is no longer there to provide cover. Kiefer decides to go with bluster, stepping out of the shadows and identifying himself as the guy who secured the nukes. Talking fast over the Marines' objections, he claims that he's under a direct presidential order to remove the magic circuit board and bring it back to CTU for analysis. Plus, he adds, the building's been "compromised." Well, that part's true, at least. The sergeant is saying that the area's off-limits, so Kiefer goes totally ballistic, throwing his imaginary weight around and demanding names and whipping out his cell phone to supposedly get on the line with the White House. If the Marines knew Kiefer at all, they'd see right through this autocratic bullshit. But since they don't, they instantly cave. Kiefer orders them to stand guard while he removes the circuit board. He approaches one of the cases and opens it up, then sets his cell phone with the schematic on the screen on the table to it and goes to work. He needs the middle of three circuit boards, which is why it's kind of funny that at first it looks like there are only two in there. But after some careful reference, he manages to find and remove the part that Cheng wants. I don't know if he plans to walk out the front door with it or leave the same way he came in, and we don't get to find out. Because no sooner does he have the part in hand than Doyle yells from behind him, "Stand down, Jack!" Kiefer whips out his handgun and points it at Doyle, who's already got the drop on him, as well as a couple of CTU agents backing him up. Kiefer sticks hard to his story, screaming at Doyle that he's following orders from over Doyle's head. Doyle yells at one of the Marines to take Kiefer out, and Kiefer is finally shut up but good with a rifle butt to the head. Doyle steps over Kiefer's unconscious form to look at the chip he tried to steal. Do you think he'll bring it to Morris to find out if it's real? It's 11:25:02.
11:29:14. Kiefer wakes up to find himself sitting on the floor of the warehouse with his back against a support column and his hands cuffed in front of him. Kiefer's trying to get Doyle to listen to him, but Doyle's busy boasting to Buchanan about how he "had to subdue" Kiefer. With Chloe still in his office looking miserable, Buchanan asks to talk to Kiefer. When Kiefer has the phone, Buchanan tells him that Chloe brought him up to speed during the commercials, and that he can't let Kiefer have the component. Kiefer promises that he never planned to let the Chinese have it, and that they're Audrey's only chance. Buchanan promises to do whatever they can to get Audrey back. "You didn't even know she was alive," Kiefer scoffs meanly. Like he's been so in the loop. Poor Kiefer is reduced to asking Buchanan "as a friend." Bill, don't let your life insurance agent hear Kiefer calling you that. Buchanan still isn't giving in beyond offering to figure out a game plan once Doyle brings Kiefer in. Kiefer asks for just one more phone call. We know full well whom he wants to talk to, but Buchanan asks anyway. And before Kiefer answers, he closes his eyes for a moment so he can steel himself to say, "President Wayne Palmer." And the preparation worked, because he's able to utter the phrase with a straight face. Buchanan says he'll see what he can do, as the clock reads 11:30:55.
Wayne's sitting in the Oval Office watching a news report about his own miraculous recovery when Buchanan's call rings through. A moment later, Wayne's on the line with Kiefer. He congratulates Kiefer on securing the bombs, and Kiefer gets right to his request to have Wayne authorize a field operation to save Audrey. Just like everyone else, Wayne is shocked at the news that Audrey's still alive, but on the other hand, he doesn't need to be told what the FB-circuit board is. He says that he sympathizes with Kiefer, but he's not about to authorize that trade. Kiefer says he only wants to fake the Chinese into releasing Audrey, and he promises to destroy the circuit board before actually handing it over. Wayne wants to know how Kiefer plans to pull that off. Kiefer hems and haws and finally admits that he'll destroy the chip with a concealed charge of C-4. Confused, Wayne points out that'll take out anything in a thirty-foot radius (Wayne is an expert on explosions, you see, having very recently been in one). After a moment, Wayne gets it. "You're going to sacrifice yourself?" he asks Kiefer. Kiefer says, "Audrey Raines was willing to give up her life to save mine. I cannot and will not do anything less for her." Wayne's not down with sending Kiefer on a suicide mission. Kiefer reminds Wayne that he already did just that, sixteen hours ago, and Kiefer never complained about it even once. "Mr. President?" he says. "You. Owe. Me." Wayne finally agrees and tells Kiefer he'll have whatever he needs. Kiefer promises not to fail Wayne, and he gratefully hangs up, satisfied that he now has permission to go kill himself. Wayne asks the little person who lives in his speakerphone to get Buchanan back on the line, and then he buries his face in his hands, wondering who's going to save the country from its crisis if Kiefer dies. It's 11:34:27.
11:38:42. Doyle finishes up a cell phone call with Buchanan and rudely tells Kiefer, "Get over here." Still handcuffed, Kiefer walks over to Doyle, who takes the cuffs off and says that he's supposed to help Kiefer with whatever he needs. Kiefer says that he's going to need someone to back him up on recovering Audrey. "I want that to be you," he tells the guy he met four hours ago. Really? Won't making Doyle the first American Audrey sees in months make her want to turn around and go right back to Cheng? At this display of trust between psychopaths, Doyle gets in a slightly better mood and barks, "Fine. Where are you going to be?" Well, after that C-4 goes off, I'd say Tuesday. All over the room. In orbit. Whatever. But Kiefer's got a speech to make instead: "The name of the Chinese agent that's holding Audrey? Cheng Zhi. He was responsible for my interrogation and torture for almost two years in that Chinese prison. As soon as I get the signal from you that Audrey is safe, two things are gonna happen. I'm going to destroy that circuit board, and Cheng Zhi isn't going to make it out of here alive. In answer to your question, where am I gonna be? Wherever I have to." See how my answer has fewer words?
Chloe descends the stairs from Buchanan's office back to the CTU floor, unaccompanied by security or any other sign that she's been arrested or even had her clearance downgraded. Morris comes up and asks her what happened. "The president agreed to Jack's plan," Chloe bitchfaces. Morris wants to be sure he understands: "The president's going to allow Jack to hand over a defense algorithm to the Chinese?" As opposed to a defense long division problem, I suppose. Chloe says no, Kiefer's going to destroy the component as soon as Audrey's safe. When Morris asks how Kiefer plans to pull that off, Chloe pointedly says, "I don't know, I guess President Palmer trusts him." Morris still thinks that Chloe did the right thing by telling Buchanan, but she's pissed at him for not trusting her in turn. He points out that she did break into his system, after all. Chloe says that's only because she knew Morris wouldn't back her up. "So you're going to hold this over my head, then, are you?" Morris asks. Chloe says she plans to do just that for a long time. Morris asks for an estimate. Chloe says she'll get back to him. Clearly, the most important thing in this conflict is for both of them to avoid the actual central issue, which is that Chloe loves and trusts Kiefer more than she does Morris. Too bad Doyle's not around to bring that up.
Speaking of whom, over on the other side of the floor, Milo calls over to Nadia that Doyle's on the phone for her to set up the frequency on the tracker they're attaching to the component. Somehow, he manages not to act like a big bitch baby about it. A moment later, the tracker's online. Meanwhile, not ten feet away from where Doyle's on the phone with Nadia, Kiefer calls Cheng to ask where he's supposed to bring the circuit board now that he's got it. Cheng gives Kiefer directions to a certain freeway exit and tells him to call for more when he gets there. "You have half an hour," Cheng says. "I don't think I need to remind you what will happen if you are late." Kiefer says he understands, but Cheng has already hung up. He's good at that. At 11:41:52, Kiefer and Doyle head out together. On the way to their pickup, Doyle wonders why Kiefer is taking such a risk. "If you were in my shoes, you wouldn't do the same thing?" says Kiefer. Well, no, Doyle wouldn't. Doyle preaches that he keeps his relationships and his job separate. Which should be easy, since I'm guessing he only has one of those. And which is also not true, since he started hitting on Nadia shortly after he stopped hitting her. "Whatever you had with this woman, I hope it's worth it," Doyle says to Kiefer. Which is a lot less rude than what he said to Nadia and Milo, but Kiefer still takes offense. "This isn't about what I had with a woman," he growls. "Her name is Audrey Raines. She served this country with honor. We owe her. Get in the truck." Kiefer and his new man-purse take the shotgun seat and let Doyle drive.
The Veep sits alone in a room in the White House that I don't recognize from The West Wing and that isn't his office because the Veep works in the OEOB across the street. He's got a short letter printed out on official letterhead lying on the table in front of him. I'm guessing it's not a note about his parking space. Lisa comes in, and he says he wanted to see her because Wayne has asked him to resign. "And I'm going to comply with his request," he says. Lisa is shocked and confused, so the Veep explains that Wayne is blackmailing him with that recording of their earlier conversation, so he doesn't have much choice but to give in. Karen sits on the couch to him and tries to take the blame for the whole situation. "If I hadn't asked you to lie about Karen Hayes, none of this would be happening," she says. The Veep correctly points out that he could have said no, but he didn't. Except that he takes her hand as he does so, which puts him right back where he belongs, deep in "incorrect" territory. And then it gets even grosser as he smiles that at least now they'll have more time to spend together. Leaving aside the fact that they're already joined at the hip at work? Ew! He caresses her face but withdraws his hand in embarrassment when it doesn't seem welcome. Dude, a hot blonde shtupping the Vice President of the United States is one thing, but shtupping grody old Citizen Powers Boothe? Not so much. The Veep says that Wayne's giving him a week to step down, but he wants to turn in his resignation as soon as Wayne's press conference is over. "I am through being the loyal opposition," he says. Well, except for the loyal part.
In the press briefing room, Wayne takes the podium and tells the assembled reporters -- all of whom are looking pretty fresh for almost three in the morning -- that Fayed is dead and that all of the nukes have been recovered. Wayne gives a shout-out to law enforcement and the armed services, which doesn't go unappreciated back at CTU Los Angeles, all staffers of which are glued to the screen like they always are whenever Buchanan lets them turn up the volume. Wayne also congratulates the country on not responding to extremism with extremism of their own. That's kind of a slap to the Veep who's just arriving in the back of the room with Lisa at his side. It's also incorrect, but I suppose it's not like anybody else knows about how he bluffed a nuclear strike against Mideastia earlier. And by the time Salon.com gets around to reporting it, nobody will care. The Veep and Lisa are now standing in the back of the room, stone-faced, the Veep holding his folded resignation letter in his hand. Wayne finishes up by asking for a prayer and national healing, blah blah blah, as if people aren't still dying in Valencia right now.
And then he makes the fatal mistake of opening up the floor to questions. The first reporter he calls on asks how certain they are that the attacks are really over. Pretty certain, is Wayne's response. Wayne calls on another reporter, Andrea. As she stands, she pleasantly corrects him that her name is Robin. Which he should know, since he was just watching her on the air from the Oval Office a minute ago. Wayne apologizes and charms that it's been a long day. Robin's question is about the thousands of American Muslims still being held in detention centers. Wayne says that the detainees will be released once the crisis has passed. "Excuse me... now that the crisis has passed," he corrects himself. As Karen sneaks a worried look over at Tom, Wayne just keeps talking. "We will be reviewing the situation regarding these individuals that we have in custody... I'm sorry, I'm not being very clear." While everyone in the room -- and at CTU -- and anyone else still awake -- watches, Wayne continues to flounder. Does the 25th Amendment also apply to Press Secretaries? Because clearly, Wayne's is incapable of fulfilling his duties and getting the president the hell out of there. Wayne calls Robin "Andrea" again, corrects himself, and babbles some more, finally dissolving into stutters and a grunt of pain before collapsing to the floor. Somehow he manages not to say "Narm" on the way down. Wow, I've had speeches go south too, but I've never tried to fake an aneurysm to get out of it. In the sudden pandemonium of the press briefing room, the Veep's only movement is to slowly tuck his letter of resignation into his inside pocket. Won't be needing that after all. It's 11:47:52.
11:52:04. As Wayne is rolled out of the White House on yet another gurney, the Veep is already ensconced in the Oval Office, along with Lisa, Karen and Tom. Dr. Welton comes in and reports that it looks like Wayne done gone and had himself a cerebral hemorrhage due to his earlier injuries. And he was doing so well this hour, too. "Meaning he never should have been brought out of the coma," the Veep bitches. Karen objects, and the Veep blames her for causing Wayne's stroke. The doctor says he'll take full responsibility, but Tom interrupts to say that the recriminations can wait until later, after they know how bad the damage is. The doctor says that Wayne is going to Bethesda for an MRI, but he doesn't think Wayne will be waking up any time soon in any case. From the couch, Lisa bottom-lines that it sounds like the Veep's in charge now. The Veep is a little smoother, dismissing Welton with a sincere-sounding, "Take care of him, Doctor." The Veep turns to Karen and tells her to notify Congress, the Secretary of Defense, and the Joint Chiefs that he's invoking the 25th Amendment. "Yes sir," Karen nods. Except then she doesn't move. He then tells Tom to issue a statement to the public, and to be ready to go over Wayne's agenda with him. Wayne has something on his agenda for three a.m. besides "Sleep?" He is a hard-working individual. Getting blown up probably resulted in the longest nap he's had since his election.
Lisa pipes up and says there's something of immediate interest, namely Kiefer's plan to hand over Russian defense technology to the Chinese in exchange for a "covertly held hostage." Tom and Karen make matching "Oh, shit" faces as the Veep turns to them for an explanation. Karen calls it a personal request from Kiefer to Wayne, in light of their "longstanding relationship... and as Jack Bauer was largely responsibly for recovering the suitcase nukes today, the president wanted to honor his service to this country." "I asked you to explain it, not excuse it," the Veep says. Karen swallows her annoyance and relays Kiefer's guarantee that he won't let the component out of his hands in one piece. Tom adds, "The hostage in question is Audrey Raines, daughter of [former Secretary of Defense] James Heller." The Veep says he's all for honoring Kiefer's service -- maybe a free membership to the Smithsonian or a Bundt cake or something -- but he doesn't want to risk damaging the country's relationship with Russia. More than he already did by authorizing an invasion of the Russian Consulate in L.A. during his first hour in charge, I assume he means. "You tell CTU to stop Bauer immediately," he orders. Karen tries to argue, but the Veep brusquely dismisses both her and Tom from the room. He's got his eye on that presidential seal on the rug, and he thinks it would be a great spot to do it with Lisa.
Out in the hallway, Karen bitches to Tom about the Veep's arrogance. Tom admits that doesn't blame the Veep for being nervous about Kiefer's plan. Karen says that isn't the point, because she remembers how Kiefer kept the Germans from getting the WET list last season (although she doesn't say so). Tom says the point is that the Veep is now the acting president, "whether we like it or not." Then he says that he's going to the hospital, effectively disregarding the other two of the three orders the Veep just gave him.
Left alone in the hallway, Karen pulls out her cell phone and calls hubby. He asks about Wayne, and Karen says he's not good. Worse yet, the Veep has decided to cancel Kiefer's operation and recall him and the component to CTU. Buchanan asks if the Veep gets the situation. "He's not that kind of a man," Karen says. "He doesn't operate in shades of gray." Like anyone like that could ever become president, even temporarily. Showing off a missing button on the cuff of his suit jacket, Buchanan protests that Kiefer isn't going to go along with this. Karen says as nicely as she can that that's Buchanan's problem, and they end the call. At 11:57:14, Buchanan heads over to his remaining crew -- consisting entirely of the speaking roles, because the extras have all gone home for the night and CTU still doesn't have a night shift -- and says that Kiefer's operation is over per the White House. He wants to have support teams ready to move in. Chloe is distracted from staring daggers at Morris when Buchanan tells her she needs to stay out of this one. "Why?" "You've shown me I can't trust you," Buchanan obviouses, and puts Morris in charge of comm. Chloe warns Buchanan that Kiefer's not going to lie down for this. "I know," Buchanan says, dialing his cell phone. If Chloe adds, "Neither am I!" and launches herself at him with teeth and nails bared, we don't get to see it.
In the CTU truck, Doyle's phone rings. Buchanan asks if Kiefer can hear Doyle. "Say yes or no," he says. But Doyle only says yes. Kiefer's radar quietly pings, but he says nothing. Buchanan tells Doyle that the deal is off, and they need to bring Kiefer in. He gets their current location, and tells Doyle to take the exit and be ready to meet the CTU backup teams that will be waiting. "Disarm Jack as quickly and quietly as possible before he finds out," he instructs. "No problem," Doyle says with crashing inaccuracy, and hangs up. He pretty quickly and smoothly comes up with a lie about how they have to take a different route due to high winds and possible fallout advisories (in case you, like Wayne, forgot that a nuclear bomb went off today). Kiefer seems to buy it, and he stows his man-purse in the back. But when his hands come off of it, one of them is holding a gun pointed at Doyle's head. So clearly, he wasn't fooled. He threatens, "Earlier today, I shot my old partner, a friend of mine, because he tried to stop me from doing what I had to do. Don't think for a second I won't do that to you." He tells Doyle to pull over. Doyle carefully complies, all the way over to a splitscreen window. In other windows, Lisa lets us admire the way her high heels look crossing the Presidential Seal on the Oval Office rug; Buchanan, Morris, and Milo remain ignorant of just how quickly things went wrong; and Karen hangs out in a White House hallway wondering how she's ever going to undermine the Veep now. Doesn't she have people to alert? And then we're back to Doyle, pulling the pickup over on an access road. Kiefer tells Doyle to leave the keys and his phone and get out. Doyle says Kiefer doesn't want to do this. Again, Doyle is wrong. As Kiefer forces him out of the truck, Doyle warns, "Daniels is the acting president. He's the one who called this off." Kiefer tells Doyle to shut up and lean against a nearby fence. "This is gonna end badly, Jack!" Doyle yells as Kiefer drives off. Finally, Doyle said something correct. It's 12:00:00.