Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 8 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Find The Lady
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.25.2011
Anyway, with Fineman discredited for the purposes of this crime, we recess. Peter stops Alicia outside in the hallway and laughs like a supervillain in her face, talking about how the last two seasons of this show have been a picnic for her because nobody knows how she thinks, but he does. It's kind of sad, like how kids get jerked around in a divorce not because the parents love the kids any more than usual but because they want to hurt each other.
The thing that makes you awesome is the thing that makes you suck, always. Alicia's higher standards of personal behavior and development make her awesome, but they're also the main sucky thing about her. Peter is a good lawman and leader because he cares, a great deal, cares always just a little more than he is a cynic, which is how he survives. But the suck side of that is, he's never really been able to curb his emotions, his passions, and every time he gets in trouble it's because of that. It's why they were a good team, but it's also why Alicia should right now be very, very scared.
MORE COURT
There's this MMORPG (and since it's CBS, get ready for a ten-minute explanation of that which barely even makes sense anyway) based on the Gaza Strip -- which is so fucking sad and so fucking realistic that that would exist, which is also so sad -- and it turns out that the three roommates are players of this game, Battle ME: Gaza Strip, which is like if they took Grand Theft Auto and thought, "What's the creepiest way we could do this?" and then settled on an armed conflict going back thousands of years.
The hot young fellow from the game company shows the court a video of Jimal's avatar Samson5 (nice) running down the street shooting people; at one point he runs through a suicide vest power-up and then into a civilian school for Israeli kids, which explodes. The reveal on this is pretty neat later in the episode, but essentially the vest is just sparkling in the air like any video game power-up, a first aid kit or extra ammo, and when he runs through it, he is equipped with it. If you know video games this will make sense -- even the Judge is more interested in dorking out and asking questions about the various "cool" weapons in use -- but if you don't then I can see it looking super fucking creepy. Either way, watching it happen is pretty harrowing.
LOCKHART, GARDNER
Diane: "Um, Wasid just left and he is firing us for sure. Defending a youth who makes light of a suicide bombing will undercut Eli's pro-Muslim campaign, which is more important to everybody."
Alicia: "Diane, you are not down with the gamerz. It's just a game. Don't be such a n00b."
Diane: "Be that as it may, however n00b I appear to you, we are fucked."
Alicia: "Um, to review, Jimal was looking at misdemeanor battery. We helped him into a murder charge."
Will: "Word choice."
Alicia: "Fucking okay, I personally helped him into a murder charge, while representing this firm. We made a commitment to him."