Episode Report Card Michael Neal: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Correcting the Market
By Michael Neal | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.26.2009
In Queens, Kenneth gets mauled by a pack of grade school children, who also snatch Lemon's purse. Items fall out of it, including a picture of Lemon with her nana. Kenneth notices that the picture is from New Year's, which contradicts her previous claim that her nana died in November. He asks her to sing him the lullaby again, and this time she is forced to sing it all the way through to the chorus. When she gets to the lyric "99 luftballons," he recognizes immediately where the song is from, and Lemon admits that the real reason she needs the phone is to get back an adult picture. "You lied to me?" asks a hurt Kenneth. "That's not something that friends do to each other." Lemon posits that maybe they aren't really friends. Kenneth points out, in that case, he is in violation of the NBC insurance policy and turns around to head home.
Jack is in his office waiting to hear word from Geiss when he finds out about Tracy spreading fear on Larry King. He calls into the show and tells the audience that Tracy is only fanning the flame. Tracy's response is to accuse the caller of being an imposter. He yells at Larry King to hang up on him, and Larry obliges. "I'm going to, but not because you told me." Elisa shows up at Jack's office to yell at him for abandoning her. Jack resists by gives her the keys to his apartment. "I will meet you there... eventually." Elisa throws the keys to the floor and tells him that she's going to Puerto Rico.
Frank, Lutz, Toofer and Hornberger are turning over every inch of Tracy's dressing room, intent on finding his money. Frank thinks he's found something behind the couch, but it turns out to be tarantula food. "I didn't know Tracy had a tarantula," says Lutz, as a tarantula crawls on his face. Speaking of tarantulas, Larry King has no idea how to pronounce that word. A frustrated Hornberger calls Larry King's show to talk to Tracy, but when he gets on the air Tracy thinks it's his friend Peter Frampton. Peter asks him where he decided to hide his cash at work, and Tracy answers him with a riddle: "The place I picked is very dry and warm. Its top is hard, but its bottom is soft, and although the location changes every time, the money stays in the same place."
Jack finally receives word from Geiss in the form of a VHS tape. He asks Jonathan if it's even possible to play it. Lucky for them, Jonathan keeps a VCR in the office to watch Jack's old football tapes. Jack notices a camcorder on the VCR and asks him why it's there. "Nothing. I don't know," answers Jonathan, and then he pops in the tape and presses play. It's Don Geiss talking to the camera while a message flashes underneath. The message reads: "Play in the event of economic meltdown." "My message is timeless," Geiss tells his audience. "Avoid the Noid." He also tells them that the only thing they can do in a time of crisis is to be with their loved ones and hold them close. It's not exactly a message that would buoy consumer confidence, if you were expecting an Obama-like message of hope for better economic days ahead. Afterwards, Geiss walks over to the camera to try and find the off button. "What's that gizmo?" and then the screen goes to static. Jack runs out of the building and onto the street to hop a livery cab. He sees Elisa sitting alone on the sidewalk with her luggage before he jumps in the car. She can't get a cab, or even a bus, out to JFK because of the financial panic. "Everything has gone cocoa for cuckoo poops." Standing there, amidst the swirl of panic, Jack asks Elisa to marry him. "I love you Elisa, and I don't want to be with anyone else." Elisa accepts Jack's hand in marriage.