Episode Report Card Cate: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Prodigal
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.11.2001
Dopey leads her into the room he shares with Robbie. I hadn't realized there was quite that much Hello Kitty merchandise in there. We're not talking a few notebooks and trinkets; this room is stuffed with the big-ticket items, like stuffed animals and pillows. How the hell can Ruthie afford all this? Do the producers have any idea how much that shit costs? I wonder why Ruthie didn't bring it all upstairs to her new room. You don't spend hundreds of dollars on this stuff and then not care what happens to it. Mary's a little curious as to why it's still there, too. Matt says, "At first we found it a threat to our masculinity." Hmm, two single men sharing a bedroom with each other and a bunch of cutesy cartoon cat merchandise. And why would they feel threatened? I think they secretly like Hello Kitty, but Dopey claims that having Ruthie's stuff there makes them feel like their living arrangement is just temporary. Mary disgustedly asks to see the closet. Dopey happily opens it to reveal that it's covered in floral wallpaper and filled with a whole bunch more Hello Kitty shit. It's filled with Ruthie's clothing, too. At least I think it's Ruthie's. Okay, as a joke, this whole scene is not bad, but where the hell do Dopey and Robbie keep their clothes? Mary leaves, and Dopey joyfully closes the door after her, just barely missing her ass.
Even Robbie doesn't want to talk to Mary. He sails right past without acknowledging her in any way. As stupid as it is, I'm starting to love this episode. Seeing how much even her family members loathe Mary is extremely cathartic for me.
Robbie is secretly freaked out, though, that Mary's back. I think he's afraid that Mary totally wants him, which is kind of arrogant, considering that she almost married someone else. Dopey tries to give him some advice while fondling a little pink toy of some sort. Heh -- that sounded sort of dirty, didn't it? Matt's advice is that Robbie shouldn't make any moves on Mary, since she could still very well be in love with Wilson and is just afraid of committing to him. That's not bad advice, but if Mary and Wilson really did split up, Mary will have been single for almost a week now. And by Camden standards, she'd better be lining up a potential husband again soon.
Upstairs, Ruthie and Lucy are still engaging in some tacky speculation over their sister's personal life. Ruthie suggests they call Wilson and "find out what happened from the horse's mouth." But really, isn't Wilson more of a horse's ass? Lucy is taking the stance that Mary will fill them in on the details in her own good time, which is really very irritating, implying that it's actually the family's business to know. Ruthie insists that even if Mary tells them what happened between her and Wilson, they might not be able to believe her. Okay, that may very well be true, but, um…who the fuck cares? Gawd, Ruthie, get a freakin' life. And cover up that revolting shirt you're wearing. Is it even legal to subject viewers to a shirt with a pink poodle on it unless there's an advisory at the beginning of the show? Ruthie just keeps right on babbling away inappropriately about Mary, suggesting that the older girl has been living in sin with Wilson. When Lucy is skeptical, Ruthie says, "We don't know her. We don't know who she is or where she's been or what she's done." Yes, and if you stop prying, Ruthie, maybe you'll be fortunate enough never to find out any more about Mary and her loathsome life. Count your blessings, you little troll. We viewers haven't been as fortunate.