Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Making money hand over fisticuffs
By Miss Alli | Season 6 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.22.2003
Up in the offices of Glass, Steel & Paneling, young Pacey has dealt with all his angry clients and has only Rod Tidwell -- er, Dawson Leery -- to deal with yet. Unable to face it, Pacey gets up and walks out...directly into the big conference room, or BMR's office, or whatever this big room is. Pacey asks Boss Man Rich if he'll lend Pacey some money to cover a friend of his who lost some money in Stock-O-Doom. He explains that Dawson is his "oldest and closest child hood friend," and Pacey "cannot screw him like this." Pacey offers BMR whatever interest he wants to demand on a loan to cover Dawson. BMR asks Pacey what happened to his own money, and Pacey explains that he had his money in Stock-O-Doom, too, so he's worth "like three hundred bucks right now." Ouch. Of course, counting my debts, I'm worth far less. At least Pacey is worth a positive number. BMR tells him to go to hell, essentially, insisting that it's not his fault that Pacey was stupid with Dawson's money. Pacey calls BMR an "unfeeling prick," and you can tell that it will soon be on. BMR tells Pacey to "watch [his] tone," but instead, Pacey raises his voice, getting angrier and angrier and saying that he just needs a favor "this one time." BMR pauses and gets all up in Pacey's face. "I...don't...do...favors," he spits. Pacey makes the obligatory Gordon Gekko reference in continuing to beg for a shred of decency from BMR, but BMR tirades right back about how Pacey has been a "holier-than-thou pain in the ass" ever since he showed up. Wow, if that's true, I have to wonder whether when Dawson gave his money to Pacey, some of his soul was stuck to it. The scene takes an unexpected and Cameron Crowe-ish turn when BMR hands Pacey a pen and tells him to write down the date, because this will be remembered as the day that he became totally worthless. Ow. Pacey certainly does run into some very unforgiving and uncreative plot devices in his travels. People are always saying things like that to him, although I suppose at least it's no longer people he's related to. But honestly, that slam isn't even all that creative. The pen really seems like a bit of an afterthought. It's also a blue and white Bic stick, and nobody in an office like Glass, Steel & Paneling would use blue and white Bic pens anymore.
Anyway. "You are a failure and a loser," BMR says contemptuously, "and you deserve everything that you -- oof!" He says "oof," of course, because this is Pacey's Moment Of Self-Destruction, Part XII. He tosses BMR backwards into the desk. BMR hits a computer, which gives out a dramatically satisfying but technically unlikely shower of sparks. For a minute, it looks like Pacey is trying to take BMR's belt off, but it turns out he's just hitting him some more. The computer on the desk appears to have returned to full operation, which doesn't seem terrifically likely what with the shower of sparks. It's up and running, though, showing what appears to be a DOS-based graph of some sort. I can't tell you much about the graph, except that two things are trending down, and one thing is trending up, so it looks like whatever it is, it isn't going very well. Above this fascinating piece of statistical analysis, Pacey and BMR grapple with each other's faces. Finally, BMR manages to haul off and punch Pacey in the face. Pacey flies backwards, but recovers, grabs BMR again, and hurls him into a different desk. A different computer produces a shower of sparks. This time, the shower is so massive that I was afraid BMR might be electrocuted. After all, resolving a murder case would only take one episode on this show. Things would be wrapped up as soon as Joey discovered how the jury instructions related to her love life and the judge discovered that Pacey was just an irrepressible scamp. The not-dead BMR is grabbed by Pacey again, but just as Pacey warms up to throw another punch, he thinks better of it. BMR's mouth has a picturesque daub of blood at the corner as he smugly eyes Pacey. "It's all over, Pace," BMR says. "Don't worry. You're fired. It's what you wanted all along anyway." Pacey looks up at him sadly. "Loser," BMR says, exactly the way Kelly Preston says it to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire. And then they make out. Okay, they don't make out. Instead, Pacey does the other thing that passes for emotional resolution in The Wonderful World Of Williamson, which is to look miserable, look around as if disoriented, and leave the room.