Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT None Of The Above
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.12.1999
At the dock, Joey pumps gas into a boat without looking and it floods into the water. Rob briefly chastises her, and tells the patron the gas is on the house. Joey tells him he didn't have to do that, since it wasn't a big deal. Rob tells her the cost of the gas is coming out of her paycheque, and that she should consider her night off cancelled. Joey tells him he's just doing this because she rejected him. He denies it. Yeah right.
Meanwhile, Viola de Lesseps has finally got William Shakespeare into her bedchamber and he's unwinding the cloth she used to bind her already pretty tiny bosom, and...wait, my bad. A topless Jack is having a tensor bandage wound around his midsection, only Jen, who is assisting, actually has the other end of the bandage in the hallway, and instead of having her -- presumably the one who isn't injured -- wind it around her, he's secured one end and is spinning in circles, slowly drawing her (holding the other end) closer. Huh? Whatever. He tells her he wants to quit the team. She tells him he can't. Jack has nice arms. He says he doesn't care what lessons he might learn about sacrifice and pain "on the gridiron," even if not learning them will mean he fails in other, more important contests in the future. Jen tells him that he must have caught that first ball last week for some reason, and that maybe he's fated to become a famous gay athlete whose purpose is to help other people come to terms with their sexuality. If I were Jack, I would take that cue to yell, "Not wanting to play this stupid game doesn't mean I'm a bad gay man." She also suggests that he might be destined to help the team win a few games to boost school morale, or to meet someone on the team in a similar situation (speaking again, one assumes, of his sexuality). He tells her she's being cheesy. He is correct.
Under cover of darkness, Dawson searches the multi-purpose room in which the test was lost. Eve lounges on a windowsill and tells him he's wasting his time. He insists it has to be in there somewhere, and asks her to help him look for it. She tells him they'll never find it. There are noises off-screen, and they both crawl under a table. A security guard walks in and does a cursory search. While the guard is still in the room, Dawson asks which would look best on his high school transcripts: "(a) Cheating, (b) Possession of stolen materials, (c) Breaking and entering, or (d) All of the above." With the guard's calf directly in line with her head, Eve says -- in a normal speaking voice -- that they should get out of there. The guard leaves the room. Eve tells Dawson that someone must have taken the test. Dawson says it could have been anyone in the room. Eve remarks that no one would "steal something they didn't know the value of [sic]," so that if someone did steal the test, it had to have been one of the Gang of Six.
Wing Chun: Hello?