Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Sphincter Says What?
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.28.2004
Kevin finds Annie in the kitchen and declares that he won't be having any more children. That is disappointing. He says he couldn't find out anything about Lucy's schoolwork, so Annie decides to call RevCam and see if he knows anything. Kevin asks why RevCam would know more than him. Annie keeps dialing. "Don't listen to me," Kevin says. "Okay, I won't," says Annie, and those two obviously hate each other.
RevCam's office phone rings, but he does not answer. This is because he has lapsed into a deep coma on the couch, so deep that the noise of the phone does not wake him up. I hope he's dead.
Annie hangs up and wonders where RevCam is. Kevin guesses that he ran away, and expresses jealousy. Annie says she has to go pick SamVid up from a "playdate," and asks Kevin to take care of the house. She hands him Lucy's monitor so that he'll be able to take her dulcet tones with him wherever he goes. Kevin leaves to go change into regular clothes in the Treehouse, hoping against hope that it exceeds the five hundred meter radius of the baby monitor. Ruthie walks in. Annie asks where Martin is, and Ruthie says he's probably at practice, where she hopes he stays forever. For his sake, I hope so too. Ruthie says she's going to take a nap. "Put the laundry away first, will you?" says Annie, who probably just spent her whole day home taking a few naps herself. She tells Ruthie to "deliver" the laundry to everyone's rooms because I guess they can't get their own damn laundry.
Baseball practice! A kid hits a pop fly to…uh…center field? I don't know anything about baseball. My bad! ["I know plenty about baseball, but I'm still at a loss to explain why the team is practicing -- and, according to Mac's comment, playing games -- in December. I mean, I know they're in California, but…no." -- Sars] Anyway, both Martin and another teammate call for it, and then they run into each other. Neither one gets the ball. It was an impressive collision, though. Martin gets up and throws the ball off to second base, and then the other kid tells him to stay out of his way. An argument ensues over who should have caught the ball, and Mac saunters up and says "why can't we all just get along," which is a cultural reference even more dated than Ruthie's Survivor one. Seriously, when the guy who impersonated the person who originally said that is being bandied about as a possible Oscar nominee for his work in a Charlie Kaufman/Michel Gondry film, it's time to retire it. Coach runs up and asks what's going on. Other kid says that Martin is trying to play everyone else's position. Coach puts another kid in at Martin's position and tells Martin to "hit the showers." He tells him to come back when he has a better attitude. "I'm your best player. What are you gonna do, bench me?" Martin stupidly asks. Coach says he can kick Martin right off the team. "I don't need this team!" Martin says, and walks off. Mac tries to talk to him, but Martin pushes him away. Coach yells after Martin to stick around so they can talk after practice.