Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Into the Lion's Den
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 05.31.2010
Once Dina is settled in the confessional cam, you can see that she is looking a little nip/tucky. Dina and Teresa sit and chat about how last season Danielle was so crazycakes and how she needs help and is an evil ho bag. Isn't it fun just sitting around and pretending that something dramatic and enervating is happening when it isn't? Seriously, were last season's antics the most exciting thing to ever happen to Franklin Lakes, New Jersey? Is Danielle's existence bringing down your property values? Is this why you hate her so much? Move on ladies! But, of course, they don't. So despite the fact that just last week she called a meeting with Caroline and Jacqueline to tell them she wants to have a sit down with Danielle so she can get rid of all the bad energy in her life, Dina rails against Danielle and her problems. Dina probably got a scolding by the producers and was told to get on Team Manzo or get off the show. So here she is ranting about the evil of Danielle. I mean, clearly, Danielle has issues, but watching four grown women pick on someone they don't like for an hour a week does not make scintillating television. In fact: Yawn.
Albie Manzo decides to step into the big brother role with Ashley, Jacqueline's daughter. Albie sits at the head of a table at a local restaurant and grills Ashley and her boyfriend Derek about their intentions. Ashley swears that she is making good decisions and is on birth control and everything, but yeah they have talked about marriage even though they have only been dating seven months. But Derek is an older man (a ripe old 23 to Ashley's 18) and Albie has concerns about this arrangement. As future consigliere, he must be heeded and, perhaps paid a small honorarium or tribute, if you will, for his advice. Lauren Manzo is at the table, too, but not Chris because he is not allowed in public too often. She makes a toast to the future of Derek and Ashley.
Speaking of the future of Derek and Ashley, Jacqueline stops by Derek's mother's house. She brings a bouquet to smooth the path. Also, wine, because, duh. The most shocking thing to come out of the meeting is that Ashley occasionally cleans around the house. Jacqueline almost faints, but luckily there is a reviving glass of vino around. The ladies get saucy on the couch waiting for the kids to come home. Hey Jacqueline: Drink 'til she's cute! Neither Chris nor the producers nor the little baby Jesus will mind, although you might want to save it for sweeps.
Albert is overseeing party preparations at The Brownstone and wants to talk to Chris about the situation for no apparent reason whatsoever. Chris settles into a chair across from Albert's desk and listens while Albert reminds him that Danielle is coming to the party and she is a guest. The end. Dear editing team, I'm pretty sure that two minutes could have been cut. Thanks! Caroline adds that Albert is a professional and she is not worried. Okay then, neither am I.
It's Gia's 9th birthday and she is ready to party. She flings open the door and a stream of little girls bearing pink gifts spills into the marble-lined foyer. Seriously it looks like someone vomited up a Barbie doll. Teresa explains that they are hosting a spa party for the girls and they are getting their hair and nails done. Also, they are going on a limo ride. Just then an enormous pink-wrapped Sweet and Sassy limousine pulls into the driveway and is instantly mobbed by the little girls who start trying to break down the windows to get inside. Just then a giant pick up truck appears on the driveway and Teresa screeches at Gia to close her eyes because her birthday present has arrived! Gia squeals the minute she sees the precious cargo: Her own ATV! Just what every nine-year old needs!