Episode Report Card Kim: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pilot
By Kim | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2003
Jack stands in front of Triple L, watching a worker hose down the Barrington remnants from the sidewalk. Man, that method of suicide really makes a big Fuck You statement, doesn't it? Jack walks into the offices, which are practically gold-plated. The receptionist says that Christianson is waiting for Jack in his office. To give us some idea of how rarely he goes to the main Triple L offices, we learn that Jack isn't even sure what floor that's on.
Jack arrives on the twelfth floor, and the place is crawling with cops, including Detective Traub. Jack and Traub seem to know each other -- or at least Traub knows who Jack is -- but they don't speak. Jack is shown into Christianson's office. Christianson expresses sympathy and then tells Jack to join the meeting in progress. A bunch of old white guys are sitting down, and Jack joins them. The younger members of the firm (including Grant) are standing around the edges of the room. Christianson makes a speech about how Barrington didn't leave a note or a clue, but that he was under pressure because Zero Limited Technologies was indicted by the Justice Department. Jack speaks up to ask what Christianson means, and Christianson says that there were "improprieties." Jack can't believe Christianson is suggesting that Barrington was involved, and reminds everyone that Barrington was his Ethics professor. Grant pipes up, "Like that would make a difference." Hey, who asked you, Grant? And why did you put your shirt back on? Jack quietly says, "Oh, hello, Grant. I didn't see you skulking in the corner over there." So those two clearly know and dislike each other. Christianson says that the media is already trying to find scandal. Jack says that they should let them try. Why is Jack the main focus of this meeting? Aren't there, like, two hundred other bigwigs?
Christianson thinks that they should continue with the firm's business by choosing a new managing partner -- one who is beyond reproach and a worthy successor to Barrington. Didn't Christianson just finish suggesting that Barrington's hands were dirty? Anyway, Christianson says that Jack is the only logical choice. Jack seems surprised. Grant looks pissed. Jack clears his throat; he says that it's bizarre and that he can't accept the offer. Christianson doesn't understand. Jack asks for a reality check; he reminds everyone that he only enters the building to steal office supplies, and that there are many others more qualified. Jack asks if this is about his name. Christianson expositions, "You're twice winner of the Hogarth Humanitarian Award, editor-in-chief of Yale Law Journal. You clerked for Justice Souter, for God's sakes." Don't forget that time he rescued the kitten from a tree and caught the man who mugged an old lady! Christianson admits that the Turner name doesn't hurt. He reminds Jack that he was allowed to practice law the way he wanted to for many years, and now he should return the favor. Jack says that he has a full-time job at the clinic, and starts to walk out. Christianson says that there might not be a clinic. Jack stops and asks if that's a threat. Christianson is just pointing out a possibility. Oh, just take out your dicks and measure them, already. Jack says it'll generate more bad publicity for the firm. Christianson takes a few steps forward and asks if that's a threat. Jack says, "Yes. It is." And then Christianson's like, "Oh, is it?" And Jack's like, "You know it." And Christianson's like, "Oh, no you di-in't!" And Jack's like, "Bring it!" And then they make out. And then Grant takes his shirt off again. Okay, or maybe the scene ended, like, five minutes ago and I'm just amusing myself here.