Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT McKilled
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 03.12.2006
7:28:32. Kiefer's making his way through the space between walls with a flashlight clamped between his teeth. He hasn't been holding his breath the entire commercial break, in case you were worried; he's still in the safe area between walls. He finds his way through a ceiling panel and into a maintenance room, where someone had the presence of mind to leave a toolbox with a roll of duct tape in it. You know, just to be prepared for this very eventuality. Kiefer uses the tape to seal the seams around the panel, and tells Chloe over his earpiece that he's done so. He adds that he's about to go into the computer room, and when he gets back, he'll tap his comm unit three times so she knows to start clearing out the nerve gas in the room. Chloe reminds him that if his makeshift airlock fails, they'll all be dead in three minutes, and Kiefer assures everyone it'll be fine. "Anyway, it'll be more like forty-five seconds," he refrains from adding. He replaces his jacket hood on his head, takes a couple of deep breaths, and swings the door open.
Tell me you didn't hold your breath during this sequence, and I'll know you're lying. I did it too. In fact, I'll go one better: I'll hold my breath while recapping it. Ready?
Kiefer finds himself in a room with a corpse or three at 7:30:06. He crosses to the far wall, which is another one of those false ones, and cuts away a panel. He's so distracted with placing the panel aside that at first he doesn't see what we see, which is a set of iron bars blocking his access to the room...and black spots...or maybe that's just me...when he looks up, he realizes he's screwed. He can see the computer across the room through the bars...dizzy...he runs back to the safe room...chest hurting...mklsdgq'j.
When I wake up and lift my head off the keyboard, I rewind the tape a few minutes to the point where I blacked out. In the Situation Room, Chloe is looking at a display on her laptop that's showing the seals are 86% compromised. Like they're Star Trek deflector shields or something. Spawn wonders how they can help Kiefer from there, and Chloe gives her some bitchy backtalk. "Don't talk down to me, Chloe," Spawn threatens. And why should Spawn be any different? For that matter, why should Chloe be any different? Barry tries to calm everyone with a little psychobabble, telling everyone to breathe. "What's with you and the breathing?" Chloe snaps. "Is that your solution to everything?" Well, in a few more minutes, it's going to be the problem.