Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT McKilled
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 03.12.2006
At CTU, 7:21:26, a shirt-sleeved Buchanan is on the P.A., confirming Chloe's analysis. As the folks in the Sit Room, Tony and Burke in Medical, and McGill and his Redshirt in Holding listen, Buchanan says that Chemical Response won't arrive in time, and they need to figure out for themselves how to either neutralize or flush the Sentox gas out of the place before it reaches the safe zones. "I want all personnel working on this problem," he concludes, like anybody's playing solitaire right now. He's barely finished before Kiefer, looking out at one of those huge exposed air ducts that run through the whole facility, gets an idea. He tells Chloe to access the ventilation system through her laptop. While he's standing off by himself, Audrey wanders over and quietly tries to blow a little sunshine up his ass: "Maybe it's not as bad as we think," she says. She further adds that CRT might get there in time. Which I have to agree with, since they have between twelve and seventeen minutes by my reckoning, and CRT is due in...let's see...eleven? Yeah, they're screwed. Although it's probably nice to have a glass-half-full-of-poison-gas kind of person like Audrey around. Kiefer looks over at Spawn and softly tells Audrey that the only reason Spawn's there is because he asked her to stay, and if anything happens to her it'll be his fault. Otherwise, you know, he wouldn't waste time on saving their lives and would heroically continue trying to get at Henderson right to the bitter end. Or something. Audrey sharply says there's no way Kiefer could have known what was going to happen. And she's relatively new, so I'll cut her some slack for that argument, but a much more effective one would have been to point out that Spawn is a disaster magnet no matter where she is.
Chloe calls Kiefer over to the laptop with good news and bad news. The good news is that she thinks she can flush out the gas using the building's air conditioning. I don't know where she plans to flush it to, and Kiefer doesn't ask. Outside? Maybe they figure the neighbors will be dead before they can call and complain. In any case, there's a program blocking her access to the system she needs, and it's running on a computer in a contaminated area. Kiefer wonders if he can get there somehow, and Chloe points to the wall behind her, saying it's a false wall and the air behind it is clean -- but only until Kiefer leaves the safe zone at the far end of the passage beyond. Spawn is, for once, the voice of reason, saying Kiefer can't do it, but Kiefer says that he can hold his breath. And he addresses a minor debate that's been raging -- okay, grumping -- on the boards, namely the question of whether the nerve gas is deadly when absorbed through the skin. And apparently it is, but Kiefer doesn't think he'll be exposed to it long enough to be in danger. Ooookay then. That still leaves the question of how long it stays on your skin once you're exposed while wearing a gas mask, but since that will only lead to the question of why Kiefer hasn't changed his clothes or taken a shower since the Sunrise Hills Mall, I'll leave it in the hands of the forums. Audrey doubts Kiefer can hold his breath that long, but Kiefer says he only has to manage long enough to get to the computer, shut down the program, and get back to the safe room, which Chloe says she can clear out in twenty seconds. You know, like an airlock. Kiefer gets a knife out of a canvas briefcase that someone conveniently left in there. Which reminds me to hope that the man-purse is in a safe zone somehow. Kiefer cuts away a panel in the false wall. He tells an extra to put the panel back as soon as he goes through, and he disappears into the wall, pulling up the hood on his jacket as he goes. Spawn sits there thinking, God, this is so like him. "Look at me, I'm a big dumb hero, we don't have time, who are you working for, blah blah blah." It's 7:24:06.