Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiefer kombustion
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.18.2002
So anyway, Palmer insists to PMHC that he's got to drop by Poor Man's Eli Wallach's office and talk to him face to face. PMHC reminds Palmer that he's got to deliver a "policy statement on public health care" in one hour. "I'll be late," says Palmer. "You're getting in way over your head," says PMHC. Palmer tells the driver to pull over so he can ride over to PMEW's office in one of the Secret Service vans.
Back at The Stable Of Sensuality, Bride and Spawn are getting ready to make a run for it when they hear someone coming. They go into the room where Bride went with Igor earlier and stand by the door with their weapons out -- Bride has Igor's gun, and Spawn has Igor's knife. But first, there's a little Thelma & Louise moment where they acknowledge their love for each other. Someone comes through the door and tackles Bride to the ground. Fortunately, Spawn has such a slow reaction impulse that she fails to stab her own father. Yes, it's Kiefer. The family is united again. Big group hug with joyful tears and whispered promises of a conflict-free future together at Casa Kiefer. The time is 11:23:52 AM.
The time is 11:28:35 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer checks the Palm Pilot for an escape route, Soul Patch and Nina pretend to do some non-Kiefer-related work, and Palmer broods on his way to Ferragamo's office. SubstituteKiefer approaches Soul Patch's desk and stares over his and Nina's shoulders at their computer screens. I hate it when my clients do that to me. They say it's bad feng shui to have your desk positioned so that your back is to your boss. I couldn't agree more. She asks them how their work is going, they start to answer, and then she cuts to the chase. "I think you both know where Kiefer is," says Alberta. "This means that you are interfering with a criminal investigation and harboring a fugitive." And just so you know the kind of pressure that Soul Patch is under, whenever SubstituteKiefer uses the words "criminal" or "fugitive," the camera zooms in on a very nervous Soul Patch. Nina points out that Kiefer isn't a threat to Palmer…um, if she even knew where he was, that is. Alberta tells Nina to go into "Holding Room One" and for Soul Patch to go into "Holding Room Two." She is placing both of them under suspension until they tell her where Kiefer is. Wait, doesn't "suspension" mean that you get to go home and take a nap? Apparently not. "The first one who tells me where Kiefer is will have a career and a future here," says Alberta. "The other one will be prosecuted and discharged." Heh -- she said "discharge"! Oh, and at some point since 11 AM, Alberta went to a salon and had a blow-out.