Episode Report Card Erin: B | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT This is the end. My foolish friends, the end.
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 17 | Aired on 2006.05.22
Hong Kong. Sark enters Irina's inner sanctum with the Box O' Sphere. He sets it down on a table and Irina asks if everything went according to plan. Sark says that Sydney arrived and mucked things up a bit, but other than that, yes. Everything went fine. "Sloane's dead," he says. "And we lost the tomb." But...how'd they lose the tomb? It's still there, isn't it? How can you lose a six-ton tomb filled with the remains of an old Italian guy? This makes no sense. I definitely need more alcohol. Irina asks him if the artifact is intact, and he says that it is and it's because he's damn good at his job. Irina then says that Sloane's death doesn't change their agenda, and that he needs to contact control and as soon as the defense satellites are down, he's to launch the missiles. Sark looks mildly disturbed by this but asks if she's decided on the final targets. She has. Washington and London. Sark just stares at her and then says that he'll get on it right away. He leaves and Irina smiles evilly at the Box O' Sphere.
We head out to outer space, where the global defense satellites are going up in flames and falling to the earth. Sark, in a control room, checks in with his crew to see what's up with the satellites. They tell him what's going on. He purses his lips and hesitates before saying, "Initiate the countdown." We check in with the Appleseed Gang as Marshall realizes that the launch has begun.
After more commercials (yay!), Irina finally opens up the case and fondles The Sphere. "So that's it," says Syd, entering the room. "That's The Horizon, isn't it?" Well, sure, Syd. It's The Horizon. Except that The Horizon that Irina stole back in "Maternal Instinct" seemed to be about the size of a book and about as flat, so unless The Horizon started out deflated and had to be inflated in order to receive the Red Juice of Rambaldi, I'd say that the writers had NO IDEA what The Horizon was supposed to be and had to just retrofit it into this plot line so that previous episodes wouldn't be totally moot. Also? Rambaldi's really fond of spheres because there was already a Sphere of Life back in Season Four and now there's another Sphere that may have been a Horizon but only if it's made of beach ball material and, honestly? I could give two fucks because obviously the writers don't. Good night and good luck.