Episode Report Card Omar G: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT House of Buggin'
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.22.2001
As Cheekbones walks off to mope, Jocko catches up with him and says that the night before -- the stringing-up and spray painting -- was all just a joke. A cruel and dangerous one, but a joke nonetheless. Then he gets serious: "Hey, I need that necklace back" Cheekbones takes much pleasure in telling Jocko that he doesn't have it, and that if Jocko wants it, he'd better go out to that cornfield and find it.
Back to Lana. She's playing with some butterfly-shaped hanging chimes. "Beautiful, isn't it?" someone behind her says. She turns to find Bug Boy, only now he's morphed into some amalgamation of Tim Roth, Chad Lowe, and a younger Matthew McConaughey, complete with floppy hair. And instead of his geeky flannel, he's now wearing all black. "Hey. Greg. I didn't recognize you without your glasses," Lana says. Bug Boy tells Lana that butterflies only live about eight hours. Lana says that they die young, and are the rock stars of the insect world. I thought beetles were the rock stars of the insect world. Bug Boy asks whether Lana will help him with an English paper. "Nathanael West assignment giving you brain freeze?" Lana asks. "Yeah, it's kickin' my ass," he responds coolly. Lana agrees. Bug Boy wants to do it at his house, but Lana counters with a library offer. Agreed. Much smiles. "It's a date," Bug Boy says. Just then, Jocko comes along and says that Nasty Nell -- whom we still haven't seen since the beginning of the pilot -- is looking for Lana. After Lana leaves, Jocko tells Bug Boy (and calls him "Bug Boy," too) to stop tailing his girlfriend. You know, it's hard being Jocko. Everybody's after his girl. And it's not even like he's just imagining it. Let's give Jocko a little sympathy, here. Bug Boy asks whether Jocko is afraid of some competition. Jocko counters by saying that if he finds out Bug Boy has been dropping butterfly care packages, he'll be hearing about it. Jocko walks off. Bug Boy says, practically to the camera, "Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug." Sometimes you're just the annoying.
Lana and Jocko walk to Jocko's truck, where they kiss and part ways. Because he has rightfully reclaimed his throne as the one true stalker of this show, Clark looks after them, pining for the fjørds. Just then, Lex appears from the right of Cheekbones, and gives Clark the gayest look I have ever seen. So gay is this look that I am compelled to watch seasons of Queer as Folk, to read every work I can find by Oscar Wilde, to watch every Tom Cruise movie ever made, and still, after all this research, I cannot find a more smoldering, clearly gay look given from one fictional character to another. "That was the gayest look ever!" I cry out. Rebecca -- who is watching along with me -- says, "That's just being cute." "Same thing!" I answer back. To add salt to this already spicy look, Lex says, "Can't knock your taste in women." Oh, Lex, please do. Lex is wearing a snazzy white shirt with a black jacket, and I am powerless not to notice. He picks up an apple from Cheekbones's cart (symbolism, much?), and asks to hear about what happened in the cornfield the night before. Cheekbones says it was a prank. Lex points out that 'Bones was tied to a pole in the middle of a field. "Even the Romans saved that for special occasions," Lex says. "You could have died out there." Cheekbones says that he doesn't want to talk about it. At that moment, the booming, avuncular farm man that is Bo Duke comes along, carrying his own box of produce. Lex makes a big show of saying hi to Mr. Kent, and extends his hand. Unlike the last episode, there is a hesitation, but Bo Duke finally does shake Lex's hand. You'll be in-laws in no time. "At least I got a handshake this time," Lex says. Look, I may be of the straight persuasion, but even I buckle under the weight of the Lex Charisma. It's strong and powerful and so wrong, it's right. Oh, Lex. Take me out of this Kansas farmtown before I wilt like a hothouse flower! (Ahem.) Sorry. Moving on...Cheekbones walks off. Lex fixes his gaze on the young lass, Lana, and takes a bite of the apple. He gives it a nasty look, and tosses the rest of the apple on the Kent truck. Organic, my ass.