Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mole Patch II: Electric Whatever
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.03.2004
Commercials. Beware rampaging shopping carts.
It's 9:52:49. Soul Patch is screwed with his pants on, Potato Face is busily disobeying his last order, and Spawnders has no one to hold her in her holding room. Kiefer comes into the conference room where Spawn is waiting for her debriefing (as are we all) and asks for her help. She says he'll have to clear it with Soul Patch, but Kiefer breaks the news that Soul Patch isn't in charge anymore; in fact, he's hiding something from Kiefer and he needs Spawn's help to find out what it is. Come on, Kiefer. You know there's a mole. You know Soul Patch is up to no good. Do you really think these two facts are unrelated? If Kiefer weren't such a softie, he would have had Soul Patch either locked up or escorted from the building already, but I imagine he'll have time to regret that later. I think he just doesn't want to believe that Soul Patch is the mole. Early Season One was a long time ago, after all, back when Soul Patch spent all his time peering suspiciously at people over his Cubs mug. And that's another thing Soul Patch is hiding! When was the last time we saw that mug? Anyway, Kiefer wants Spawn to monitor and track every damn thing going on at CTU from Field Ops, and sends her up there. It's 9:53:34. Kiefer looks up into Soul Patch's office, where he's trying to rub his upper lip off.
Actually, he's just staring at the camera feed from Spawnders's holding room and trying to teleport her out of there with his mind. He doesn't seem to be having much success. His desk phone rings. It's Potato Face, with the fabulous news that she's figured out a way to pull the voice track from his call with Saunders. I told him it was a dumb idea to put her to work on that. Soul Patch asks if she's listened to it yet. Like she'd be talking to you right now if she had. She says it's still decoding, but she'll have it shortly. Soul Patch tells her, "Good work," and hangs up, clearly aware that he's running out of time. We are pushing the fifty-five-minute mark, here. Through the glass walls of his office, he watches Kiefer pick up a phone on the upper level and call Adam. He listens in on his own phone as Kiefer asks Adam to send data up to Spawn's computer and send Potato Face to speak with him. Before Adam can do so, Soul Patch calls Adam and claims to be on the line with Potato Face, who he says needs a password. Adam provides it, then relays Kiefer's request to see Potato Face. Clever move, that. Soul Patch changes his computer monitor view to Potato Face on the Nebuchadnezzar. This place is a frigging panopticon. Potato Face has just finished decrypting Saunders's call to Soul Patch, and she's alarmed at what she hears her former boss saying: "You have my wife. I want to talk to you first." Potato Face grabs the phone in front of her, but it's dead; apparently Soul Patch shut it down from his computer. And now he's locked down all of the screens in the room. Potato Face says, "I knew it." Oh, you big liar. Potato Face runs to the door, but that's locked too. Soul Patch witnesses her growing desperation on his screen, not enjoying it nearly as much as I am. I wait for him to hit the button that will fill the room with poisonous gas, but Soul Patch is too new at this bad guy thing so he doesn't bother. It's 9:56:04. Soul Patch walks out of his office, putting on his jacket as he goes. That's not conspicuous at all.