Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When the chips are down...
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.28.2003
The Trial of David "Miss Palmer if you're nasty" Palmer. The time is 04:29:13 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Bitchelle tries to retrieve what she can from the damaged chip, Palmer prepares to hear more testimony, and Kiefer sends information to Bitchelle about the chip from Cate's home computer. PoorMan'sAlexanderHaig enters the room again and apologizes for the delay -- a delay known to us, the viewer, as a "word from our sponsor." "The man you're about to see is not entirely well," showboats PoorMan'sAlexanderHaig. Enter Yulin, a.k.a. Wetfoot. Yulin is pretty shaky, having been tortured for two hours. A little too shaky, if you know what I'm saying. He too delivers a monologue that's not in response to any questions from PoorMan'sAlexanderHaig. He talks about being tortured for several hours by Palmer because Palmer thought he knew more than he was saying. Palmer tells Yulin that he's lying. "This may work for a while," says Palmer. "But eventually the truth will come out!" Yulin continues to describe his day before he was tortured. He testifies that the President was erratic and indecisive -- pathologically afraid, even, to go to war with the Middle East. He then describes being arrested for treason and taken to a room and tortured. "In all fairness," says Yulin slickly, "I think he genuinely believed it to be true." PoorMan'sAlexanderHaig asks him why that would be. "David Palmer is a decent man," says Yulin, driving the shit home to Mama. "He's too decent for the times we live in. He wanted to avoid war at any cost."
CTU. Remember that extra IT that Soul Patch ordered? Well, not that we've seen them or anything, but Chappelle is pissed at Soul Patch for commandeering them to work on the chip. Soul Patch explains that they have a chip that contains Cyprus audio blah blah blah forgery-cakes, but the chip is damaged. Chappelle wants to know how long before they can retrieve any information from it. Bitchelle enters and promises him results by the end of the episode…I mean, "in fifteen minutes." Chappelle walks off. Out of earshot, he picks up a phone and leaves a message for the Vice President. Dun dun dun!
Trial of David "Jesus Christ Superstar" Palmer. Graphic video footage of the torture is shown. The poorly lit quality of the surveillance videotape gives the brutality a certain David Fincher quality. The cabinet is visibly upset. Like they're the parents at a PTA meeting when one of those Scared Straight counselors comes in and convinces everyone that their kids are probably on drugs if they listen to Smashmouth. Anyway, they get to the part of the tape where Yulin admits to knowing about the B-O-M-B "for weeks." Palmer is all, "Enough," and slams down his fist on the table. "Yes, I had Yulin tortured," says Palmer, "but just as I suspected, he knew about the B-O-M-B." Yulin lies and says that he only said what Palmer wanted to hear, under pressure from that torture and all. "You knew more than that, Yulin," says Palmer, reminding Yulin that he knew of the location of the B-O-M-B on Norton Airfield and the Coral Snakes, et cetera. Palmer asks to see the rest of the tape for corroboration. There is no rest of the tape. "That can't be!" says Palmer. "I was in that room for another ten minutes." PoorMan'sAlexanderHaig assures him that this was all that was given to him by the OC. Palmer calls this deliberate sabotage. "Yulin said a lot more than what was on that tape," says Palmer. Pippin asks if Agent Simmons, a.k.a. PoorMan'sRFK, could verify what was said. Palmer says he can't, since he sent him out of the room. He argues that the fact remains, he received important information from Yulin that checked out. Yulin argues that Palmer could have gotten that intel from a variety of intelligence sources. Palmer asks PMHC to back him up. "I only know what the president told me," says PMHC. "I wasn't in the room." Peter, don't you know what you just did…?